My New Profession

Is really nothing exciting. Since the gardener walked out, that is what I am: a gardener! 

Today I mowed the lawn for the first time in my life, which was really rather hard work for my scrawny arms, particularly as my joints are all still particularly crotchety and arthritic after my recent run in with a streptococcal virus. I have no nails left, I'm constantly filthy, and the garden looks no different!

Well the cut grass makes a world of difference actually; it looks really good, although I should haves tarted in the back and not the front garden. As it was my first time ever I had to figure out how to use the lawnmower; not all that logical really, but I did it. Why on this planet do you have to press the extremely hard button AND hold the handle permanently? My poor right hand is dead and sore from squeezing the bloody handle that kept stopping the moment you slacken grip for a second. 

Then, which is rather funny, all of a sudden half way through the front lawn the mower stopped, and nothing would get it started again. I thought I had been real blonde and broken the mower within five minutes of using it, and was already planning my argument with Pio about it and booking myself in to have my nails done, never to garden again! I then walked inside, flopped disgustedly in front of the computer, only to find it off ... 

Yes, the power had tripped! The plugs in this house trip everything constantly so it really should have been something I should have looked at but there you go, lack of brains I guess. So on I went, and have cut neat little circles into all the edges as it took me some time to work out how to cut an edge without digging the blade into the ground. Needless to say you live and learn and the back garden looks real spiffy compared to the front. 

I couldn't move the hammock as it weighs a ton so that will be Pio's little patch to do when he gets in but otherwise, my garden looks very neat and clean at the moment. This would be a good thing but it means that the cleaner and neater the garden the more rubbish I have piled around the side of the house that I have to load into a bakkie and take to the dump ... sigh ... the grass was so long there is easily three bin bags worth of cuttings that need to be binned. Joy of joys.

Anyway, I have also planted tomatoes and my first plant has tomatoes on but am not sure if they're going to be useable; time will tell. I have planted my other 4 tomato plants out so am waiting to see if they take and grow. I also planted my lettuces out so am praying they are going to take and grow and that means I won't have to buy lettuce for the whole of December! 

Yesterday I put more seeds in; onions, spring onions, more lettuce and gem squash. I now have to wait ten days and see if they grow; should be interesting! Today I want to plant carrots, lettuces and herbs but I am trying to find the ideal spot for them. The herbs will best grow in pots but I don't have any pots so should probably go buy more. 

I also want to start growing from cuttings out of the garden; the plants in the garden are just phenomenal so want to get some hormone powder and start cutting and growing, either to sell or in case we move and then I can start a new garden wherever we go to with plants from here! Not at all cheeky lol. 

Right, am off to water all my seedlings and see if my tomatoes have survived being planted out!

Halloween

 Is on its rather grim way and as here in Namibia any excuse is used to party, here comes another one. I do like dress-up though (everyone is a child inside) and so really think that I would like to take part this year. 

History states that the celebration of Halloween has been derived from a number of ancient festivals, such as the Irish Samhain, Roman feat of Pomona, or the festival of the dead, Parantalia. It is a celebration of the end of the Summer months and the beginning of the dark Winter; laying in stores for the cold months to come, and dousing all fires apart from the celebratory bonfires, from which the home hearth's were again lit after. 

This alone means that surely here in Africa where our seasons are reversed we shouldn't be celebrating this holiday, and if we wanted to, it should be at the end of summer and not the beginning - but who knows!

The belief is that on this particular night of the year, the curtains between the mortal world and the world of the dead are much thinner and the spirits can pass through to our realm, causing whatever havoc they may be able to if they so chose. The practice of wearing masks was thought to ward off the evil spirits and prevent them from doing any harm to the villagers and their homes.

The act of dressing up and going door to door begging for sweets and treats seems to have originated from something called "souling", a medieval act of beggars going door to door on Hallowmas (November 1st) receiving food in return for prayers for the dead. 

So all in all it is a rather grim day, and reminds me of the Crow movies, but there you go, dress up we shall and see if we can win any prizes for being the most creative. It's a far cry from the real significance behind Halloween and All Saints and All Souls Day.

Dentistry ...

For many years now I have been meaning to go have braces put in and to correct my awful teeth. I started in England and then got scared and backed off, and then ignored it, but every time I see a photo of myself I freak and so today bit the bullet and off I went to the dentist. 

Now, I was firstly not impressed as he double-books patients so at 8:45am he was already running 20 minutes late. This gave me the time to peruse his treatment room, which only disgusted me further as it was filthy and there was even blood on the cupboard bin and the whole place looked like it hadn't seen a cloth and detergent in months. Me with my freaky OCD doesn't cope with stuff like this, and it is even worse as this isn't just somewhere you can sit and walk away from, they will be sticking things in my mouth and if they can't clean their rooms will they even be able to clean their equipment??? Also their equipment looks as if it is about 200 years old apart from the x-ray machine. 

So do you go to another dentist and pay much more or do you bite the bullet and deal with the dirt???

The dentist says that my jaw has grown wrong and not developed correctly, so the chances of correcting this are slim and there could be many side-effects that could damage my teeth and roots permanently. I also may have to go to Cape Town for an operation to have my jaw broken and shifted forward which will correct the overbite but that will be at the end of the treatment. My top jaw has also developed incorrectly, and so is much narrower - that will be corrected by shifting my teeth on top sideways to widen it slowly. 

He took an impression made from this gooey stuff that he said tastes like ice-cream (my ass) which hurt like hell and x-rays, and I need to go back on Saturday to find out how it will work and what the cost will be. He also says that NHP probably won't pay it at all and the plan that we have is crap but once he has given me all the paperwork then I can go to them and see what they say.

So we shall see what the outcome on Saturday is, but if I don't do it now then I guess I never will and I hate my teeth with a passion, they are a real embarrassment to me and would love to have them fixed so that I can smile without being self-conscious or criticizing every photo that I see. Pio seems to think that I should get a second opinion so that will have to be done as well - yippee!

Here goes nothing! I am debating whether I will have the courage to go through with it or run like hell lol.

Dirty Dancing

The 14th marked one year since Patrick Swayze's death, and Sharon and I both having the same ideas decided to watch good old Dirty Dancing again - although not together as we are on separate continents. So I snuggled up in bed on my own and was drawn into a world where appearances still meant so much, where men were still gentleman and believed in opening car doors for women, and people took pleasure in something other than TV.

It's a story that has been repeated hundreds of times in different ways - people from different sides of the tracks fall in love and overcome the obstacles that confront them in a society where that still mattered, but this movie somehow managed to become popular with all ages and throughout the years. It definitely made Patrick Swayze's career, but unfortunately didn't have the same effect for Jennifer Grey.

For me, my first memory of watching Dirty Dancing was as a child in my Aunty 'Nita's house in Durban - her beautiful sprawling house where she lived with her family and my grandparents. It must have been when it was first released as I was very very young, and my Father was still scandalized that I had been allowed to watch it at such a young age as he felt it was hardly appropriate for a child to be watching - he was probably right.

The memories of that house awed me as a child - I saw that side of my family as worldly and glamorous; through a child's eyes they sparkled. My grandparents loved their dancing, and even though it is probably not true, I saw them as coming from that same age and time, my grandmother sparkling in her beautiful gowns and high-heeled shoes that she had in her cupboard and occasionally allowed me to play with and try on. To this day I still remember hobbling around in a pair of high-heeled gold shoes that the sight of Penny's in Dirty Dancing always reminds me of. 

I wonder if in 60 years time, people will look back on the "noughties" and think that they were as glamorous and sparkling as the golden years of the 50's and 60's, and I somehow doubt it.

Ball-less Bear ...

So the deed was done ... my poor baby had his crown jewels lopped off!

We took him in on Wednesday, and I was almost in tears at the thought of my poor baby being mutilated and very nearly backed out and said sod it, he can keep them! I think he must have known something was wrong, as he was as hyper and mad as always dragging me through the car park and vet offices. He also made his mark and peed on the table in the middle of the consulting rooms! I almost died, idiotic dog. 

He then had to have a thermometer stuck up his bum to his great disgust, and between climbing into my lap and almost sitting on said thermometer (I shudder to think what that removal would have been like) he spent his time snarling at the vet Saskia as if he was about to kill her. She even took a step back at one point and I had to hold his mouth shut whilst she listened to his heart (complaining all the while that she could hear nothing over the vicious rumbling) and then he got really mad when he had to have the first injection to dope him down slightly. 

The vet, Saskia, was probably pleased to chop off his balls after that.

I can only imagine he must have known what was coming to be in such a foul mood as he normally loves Saskia - well he just loves everyone really and doesn't have a vicious bone in his body. Well we then had to get him into the cage, which he adamantly did not want to do, and then I had to leave my poor child looking after me with big mournful eyes and no doubt dreading what was to come. 

In the meantime Kita was standing in the front chunking her head off as she hates being separated from her Teddy Bear so Pio had to take her back to the car. She was meant to be done as well but the daft cow picked the opportune moment to come in heat and so they couldn't operate on her. 

So Bear spent the day in lockdown, and I spent the day panicking over my child and counting down until I could go fetch him at 3pm. On arrival he was lying in his cage, all doped up and miserable, but when he heard my voice he was up and chunking in a shot, and launched out of that cage as fast as his still-drugged and very wobbly feet could take him, straight into my arms. He then took off out of the place dragging me behind him, bumping into walls and tripping down steps as he frantically sought for a way out of this horrendous place. 

Even whilst still drugged, he insisted on peeing on gutters and car tyres before jumping into the car and very nearly missing it entirely. He sat on the back seat, head out the window, still drugged and falling asleep, but once home insisted on trying to play with Kita and peeing on everything in sight whilst his wonky legs almost gave way beneath him - Pio and I almost died laughing at the poor thing almost falling over whilst desperately trying to mark his territory.

He was spoiled rotten that night with a huge meal and bones and I even gave him my lamb chops to try and ease the guilt I felt - no doubt he clearly knew this and those brown eyes got sadder and sadder as he eyed me, my plate of food and gingerly licked his non-existent balls until I gave him anything he wanted. 

He went for a walk on Thursday, and howled so much that he got his run behind the car as well, and by today he is back to his irrepressible and crazy old self - still jumping, biting me on the bum, and trying to hump Kita every opportunity he gets. It seems as if all the action in his nether regions (even though it was negative) has made him feel quite the stud and he is even worse at trying to get onto Kita that he has ever been, so not sure how long this is going to last!

Saturday Mornings ...

I think that Saturday mornings have to be the most peaceful and pleasant of the week. Depending on what we have done the night before we are up early unless there is really nothing to do and then Pio is allowed to sleep in and enjoy his time in bed watching TV - although as he does that all day on a Sunday he isn't really allowed to get away with it on a Saturday lol. So normally I will catch up on any cleaning and washing that is required or we will go to town and get whatever we need or want.

After that we do whatever needs doing around the house, work in the garden, clean the car, and Pio will potter with his pipe car and in the garage dreaming of what he could rather be doing if he had the money lol! Now that the sun is shining more regularly and it's beginning to feel like Spring it is even better, as getting up early with the sun isn't a problem (for me anyway) and getting everything done is pleasant instead of a chore. 

Although this morning mopping floors after dogs was a total chore - and then whilst I am still mopping they run over it with muddy paws and I have to start again ... they were locked out the house pronto dot only to have Pio let them in five minutes after I was done and there we start again ... I have now given up. I will never have a clean house what with animals and Pio around.

I love my Saturday mornings, be they peaceful or busy. By the time Sunday comes around it's just a count down to the rubbish week again so it's not pleasant at all, so Saturday mornings are here to be enjoyed as much as possible and hope that time drags and we get a lot done!

Farm Life

As it has recently come to our attention that we might like to buy a plot, build a house and attempt to farm, I have decided to do a list of Pros and Cons. This is because both Pio and I are too hopeless to ever make any concrete decisions and say "That is what we want!" It must have something to do with us both being Gemini, and is extremely annoying, even if I do say so myself.

So let's get the negativity over and done with first:

Cons:

• Traveling, as it is 15 km's out of Swakopmund
• Pio will have to drive to work instead of catching the bus or drive to town in order to catch the bus
• Not being able to just "pop to the shop"
• Having to plan all shopping properly (lazy me ... )
• No electricity
• No house ... (lol) 
• No fences
• No security
• Resale value is a concern according to Pio

Pros:

• I can keep animals!
• Have a real barn
• No traffic or cars or noise at night
• No worrying about my animals being run over
• Not having to walk Bear and Kita every day
• Grow your own veggies and fruit if possible
• Owning a large piece of land
• Building a home and farm up from scratch
• Potential for running his own little factory (Pio) 
• Small-scale farming

And that is all that I can think of immediately ... I reckon I would be happy on a farm and in that life and it is one more pro than con so it's all looking good. It's still a really big decision to make, and we can't really afford to make any bad decisions at this point in our lives so a lot of thinking still has to be done and a lot of things thought through carefully and written down in great detail.

Although as the house will have to be built from scratch up it will take quite some time to actually make it livable and be able to move in there and actually start this life and get it going. So here's to big and life-changing decisions ... let's hope we make the right ones!

Monday Blues ...

I definitely think that Monday has to be the worst day of the week, although on the other hand probably the most productive. Currently being in Swakopmund and it being winter, Monday's are even worse as you are forced to get out of bed and get going in the cold, miserable and gray morning after a weekend of doing as you please. People say the rain is bad - at least if it rains you know its cold and wet and miserable; living in Swakop is like hanging in the balance waiting ... it has the potential to rain but can't quite happen ... and your extremities are generally blue with cold, which is actually a total contradiction to "Summer All Year Round in Africa Wild" ... dammit. I have clearly acclimatized.

Although being a Monday and it being cold, I still managed to be up by 7am this morning after lying awake for ages and got going on a few bits that needed doing. The windows have been washed so I can see my garden once again which is great, and Johnny is scrubbing the front wall and all its years worth of muck off. This is definitely the week to clean, as hey, Wednesday it is officially Spring!

But, before we can officially say it is Spring and Summer is on the way, I am making a huge pot of soup to ward off the cold that I am sure will no doubt last long into Spring in this place. Hopefully it will be the last one that I make until next winter, but I do somehow doubt it. Nevertheless, I will enjoy my fresh bacon and vegetable soup with a dash of single cream, a touch of freshly ground  black pepper and hot toast topped with melted butter, even if I am praying it's the last time I eat it til next year. 

There is much to do this week and plenty to keep myself and Johnny busy, after which time hopefully the  garden will be sparkling, which it hasn't been in a long while as there simply has not been the time to get stuck in and get it done. Garages will be sorted out, walls washed, driveways swept, and it will hopefully take all week! Let me be off to start with the next task!

Bear's Balls

The decision to have Bear's balls removed was not one that I made lightly ... poor bugger, how cruel can we be to our animals? I have ignored all advice from friends and our vet, wanting to keep him as beautiful and nuts as he is ... also thought for a while that someone might like him enough to want to have puppies with him.

Anyway, living with a very horny husky has been quite difficult, and he has to be the horniest dog I have ever seen in my life. We had to stop taking him out in public as if he saw another dog, male or female, he would do his best to grab it and hump it, not worrying whether he had the right end or not, or if it was even male or female. He seemed to think that any other animal out there is for his pleasure only, which has caused rather a lot of embarrassment over time and in a crowd ... 

He has never really been a leg-humper thank heavens; although there are specific people that if very horny, he would try and grab, only to be smacked rather hard for his efforts poor sod. So then Kita came along, and being female, there was the concern that puppies would be on the way. So a month back we couldn't decide if she had come into heat or not as there had been no visible sign, and I also couldn't decide if she was just overweight or pregnant ... off we went to the vet and not even Saskia could decide if she was pregnant or fat. We are assuming she is just fat and I have been told to cut her food in half ... clearly Saskia doesn't know Kita very well LOL or just how much of a ginormous pig she is. 

So, Maya returned to Swakop on Thursday. Maya is Destroyer Number Two and the one that taught Bear to dig holes all over the garden - apparently she no longer does this whilst Bear still delights in digging holes to China. So we reunited them, and it was a rather joyous occasion for both of them once he had stopped trying to hump her and she had stopped biting him back. 

That evening, however, Bear went a bit loopy. Whether it was hormones playing up or just the fact that he desperately wants another husky to play with and Kita isn't good enough (being fat and lazy I am leaning towards her not being good enough for him) I honestly am not sure, but he went off his rocker. He spent hours in the front garden howling at the moon - and no, it wasn't whining like a normal dog, it was honest to God nose in the air, howling like a wolf. I wonder how many of our neighbors thought that there was perhaps a wolf loose somewhere. No amount of calling and coercing would shut him up either. 

He would dash inside to answer me, and then two minutes later charge back outside, howling on his way down the passage and out the window. For a while he actually sat next to my bed howling; this is rather loud and hysterical to be honest. The more he howls, the more I laugh, and the more I laughed the more he howled. He has always howled and talked if someone laughs.

So with this insane dashing in and out the house and howling, jumping on the bed then off, and looking at me as if I had murdered his best friend, I decided to do the deed and have him neutered. People in this town like huskies as they are pretty, and get them as they love the colors and blue eyes and fluffy tails, but have no idea what it takes to look after them and what high maintenance they are. So most of the huskies in town, unless behind very high walls, roam the streets, are given away, are murdered and poisoned. My biggest concern is that someone is going to get fed up of his howling and poison him - being Bear he will eat anything that he thinks is human food as well. 

There is also an old lady that lives two doors down that stops every evening to pet him and to interrogate me as to how I look after him. She doesn't seem to believe me when I tell her that he sleeps inside and on the bed if he chooses, he has biscuits and milk twice a day, chicken livers cooled in BBQ sauce with rice for dinner, walks for miles every day, a whole bag of bones every second day - well the list just could really go on. These two are the most spoiled dogs I know. I also have never worked more than half day so that I can spend time with him and walk him and care for him - this is the only thing that keeps him from wandering I am sure. Bear, being a total traitor, sits at the fence and cries like a baby every time she walks by, so am totally convinced that she is going to report me to SPCA one of these days for not looking after my animals. Little does she know.

So I am hoping that neutering him will calm him down, and he will earn to control his freaky and insane moods as he won't have what is clearly a ton of testosterone whizzing through his body. I think he is all testosterone and nothing else actually. So this coming week I will make arrangements for him to go to the vet and have the deed done - poor bugger, he doesn't know what is waiting for him just around the corner!

A Dining Room Table!

Well, I have decided sod it, just spend the money and let's get a dining room table that we like. We have the 7 chairs, and today I ordered another one to make it 8, and have spoken to the carpenter about making a table for us. 

Now if you don't already know, we live in a big 4 bedroom house with a huge garden and it is pretty much mostly empty as we have never bought any more furniture! Now I am getting rather frustrated with not having anything in the house and so it's time to start buying and making our house look like a home instead of a homeless shelter ... 

So, I am going to go home at lunch and measure my dining room and see what size and just how big I can make this table and the matching mirror. I also get to put a Lazy Susan in!!! I have always wanted one - sad I know - but so, so useful and hey, why not. Of course not if it makes it stupidly expensive ... here's hoping!

The wood that we want to use is Dolf - no idea how you spell it, but it is cut up in Zambia and shipped down South, and we are going to try and leave it as natural as possible, so no dark stains, just plain, simple and straightforward. The Teak and Rosewood are too red for my liking although we can get both here - just asked Seth for some advice re the wood as he is a carpenter obviously - pity he's so flipping far away!

Well wish us luck and maybe by the end of the month will have a new dining room table to boast about!! :-D

Back to School

Hopefully anyway! I have finally got my butt into gear and decided to do something worthwhile, as being in a pointless job doesn't satisfy me at all and is merely frustrating - we won't go into why it's so frustrating ... some people are just beyond help really. 

So, the course that I want to do is all to do with Design and building websites, so Adobe and everything that it is - Dreamweaver, Flash, CS3 and a multitude of other things which will hopefully not only keep me busy but also give me the grounding to get a better job or to do my own thing when it's completed. I am only really happy when being creative and building things so this could be just the right thing - only took me 28 years to decide! Not long at all really ... 

The only problem is, Swakop being so small, there is an instructor that can be used, but now they have to find enough people to do the course in order to employ her. In one way I suppose it's a good thing as that means there won't be a huge amount of people on the course - hopefully hopefully - therefore you have more interaction with the instructor and also the less people that do it the better - less people to compete with for work when it's done! Is that mean of me? Knowing my luck will be about 40 people on it ...

It also means getting the brain back into the swing of studying again which might be a wee bit difficult although with any luck it won't take too much to get back into the swing of things! It seems like a nice place, a wee bit scrappy,and the course is expensive, but it will be an international qualification at the end of it and so can only hope that I am able to go through with it and get the ball rolling. 

Wish me luck people!!! Am going to need it!

My Photo Wall

After running around yesterday trying to find all the stationary etc that I needed and walking the dogs out on the beach - was really misty and cold ugh - I decided to get stuck into my old photos and stick them all up again and make the photo wall that I had at Mile 4. 

Pio suggested that we do it on the glass sliding door between the dining room and the braai area so that when we are braaiing then we can look at them and enjoy them more which in theory is great but after I stuck them all up I didn't like it as the lounge is quite dark so this photo wall now blocks out the light that comes in from the sky-light in the dining room. It also lets you see the prestik and the backs of the photos from the other side of the door, so I think that a move may be in order!

This is rather sad, as it took about 2 hours to complete and looks quite good from the one side, but am sure that it will look just as good on the dining room wall. Ultimately it will move again anyway, as I want the photos in either the entertainment area or in my office, and when I get my office I already have the electronic photo frame Pio bought me, so might very well have to put them in the entertainment area that I don't have as of yet ... 

I will try remember to take a photo of the wall today and post it, it is really nice to have all my photos up again, always makes me smile, I just need to print more now and keep adding to it. There is nothing better than loads of photos of family and friends! 

Bear v the Feather Duster

Bear has an obsession with the feather duster. I think that this may stem from his obsession in general with birds of any kind - from chasing seagulls on the beach to the poor goose he caught the other day to my total dismay. That was rather amusing after although he did come off a sad second best after I caught him - although that did take half an hour. It must have been a rather amusing sight - low-flying over-weight goose, Bear right on his poor feathered butt, the poor goose-minder after Bear, and me after the goose-minder running madly down the beach which sadly doesn't end ... Needless to say the goose escaped minus a few feathers and Bear escaped rather depressed and miserable after his hiding, but he still has this insane obsession. 

On the beach its OK as he hares up and down after seagulls that are way too smart to be caught, occasionally taking off after them and plunging into the salt pans to no avail, coming back stinking to high heaven of salty dead water and bird poo after running about a mile.

The feather duster is just amusing though, he must think that it is a dead bird attached to a stick or something, and this means to him that he must chase it and will one day get the better of me and destroy it, to his total satisfaction. So when the feather duster comes out, Bear goes insane and will follow you and it as if his life depends on it, trying desperately to catch it whilst you are dusting, using any means necessary,which normally means that my furniture is covered in great big muddy paw-prints as he launches after the bird-on-a-stick, never giving up.

When the duster is then put away - locked in a cupboard to prevent him climbing the furniture or ripping cupboard doors off to get to it - he will then lie in front of the closed cupboard or door for hours in the vague hope that it might come waddling out on its own so he can catch it unawares. As of yet, it hasn't, thank my lucky stars, but I am very sure that one day he will win his war against the duster ...

So Not Martha Stewart!

I went on to make my Mom's chili tomato chutney as I had a craving for it, so I got out the recipe and off I want. Clearly though, I didn't put any thought into the recipe as I would have remembered the error I avoided last time I made it and would then not have made it now!

The recipe calls for 1/2 a cup of vinegar, which I put in happily. I didn't remember the size of the tomatoes that I should have used, or the size of the chilies. The recipe said 6 - 8 chilies and so I put 7 rather large green ones in - not remembering that the last time I made it I actually asked my Mom and they were meant to be small ones! Ha! So I left it to cook away and eventually brought myself to taste it once it was done; only to be overcome by vinegar and chilies!

Wow but between the zinging vinegar and take the top off your head chilies, it was rather interesting. Needless to say, I parked that project for the moment and went out the following day to buy another 2kg's of tomatoes. I added in double what I had already put in - not the full 2 kg's but I got tired of chopping tomatoes so thought that double would do the trick. 

Well it didn't ... but by then and Pio quite liking the vicious chili kick, I decided to leave it as is. I then made a egg sandwich yesterday morning with a wee bit on and it actually wasn't bad, providing you don't use too much lol. Definitely a long way to go to be anywhere near Martha Stewart!

Me? Martha Stewart??

To my dismay it seems likely - OK, definitely not quite on the scale of Martha but seem to be on my way to becoming not too bad at the whole cooking and baking thing! Touch wood anyway - this now means that anything I bake and cook from now on will be a total flop.

I tried my hand at chocolate cakes,which came out great,but have worked out that my cake pans are too big for the amount of mix that I use and so my cakes are rather skinny yet large. New cake pans are expensive though so am holding out until I can afford smaller ones and living with what I have. Needless to say it could just be the icing and caramel that makes the chocolate cake so good!

I attempted cornbread which was OK - not fantastic but quite good. Again, I have a long and very skinny bread pan and would like to get a shorter fatter one, as my poor loaf looks decidedly odd. I found some gorgeous mini bread pans at Woerman, just the right size for one person, but as they are so expensive will have to hold off on that as well for the time being. 

On Friday I made a butternut soup which came out really well and fed us for the weekend, as well as a very nice Afrikaans pap-en-sous bake - only to discover that we weren't hungry after the soup and so half of it has gone to waste really. I am sure that the dogs will appreciate it though. 

Saturday morning I decided to make cheese and bacon muffins for breakfast,which came out great actually and I had the last ones for breakfast this morning - all cuddled up in bed with coffee, muffins, and Eureka. My next plan is to make a fabulous chocolate cake and take it to Ulf who has been a total life-saver for us regarding the Pajero and when I was so upset about the tax last week gave me a hug to cheer me up! Let's hope that it doesn't flop and I don't put it down on a hotplate on the stove like I did last time and crisp it again ...

Here's hoping that I manage to maintain this level of culinary semi-decency as I quite enjoy it - apart from the dishes!

Namibia's Coastline

I have been spending an awful lot of time on the beach this past week with the dogs. I have been attempting to take them out every afternoon now that things have quietened down for me and there isn't something that I have to do every afternoon and they get to run and play and I also get a good walk in.

We climb in the car and drive out past Mile 4; as soon as we're on the dirt road past traffic if there is any, the dogs run alongside the car and I drive the last couple of kilometers onto the beach itself and then walk from there. Bear is howling to get out the car and run the moment we leave the house and it just gets louder and louder until we get to spot where he can run his heart out. Yes, many passers by give us rather strange looks at this Husky that is screaming his head off out the window ... 

Even Kita is starting to enjoy the running, and is losing her totally ungainly galumphing crab-style sideways run and losing a bit of her grossly overweight body. She doesn't make it much over 20 km's per hour though,and usually gets left far behind as Bear and I cane off at about 40 km's per hour, leaving her far behind, but she plods on and catches up eventually. Normally by this time Bear and I have parked the car and are out on the beach already :)

Once out on the beach there is generally no one in sight for as far as you can see unless you look back to town,but during the week the beaches are empty - apart from Friday when we encountered some fisherman and so had to detour around them. I am slightly nervous being out there on my own as the dogs wouldn't be any kind of protection and there really is no one around. 

We walk down the beach and I try to get in at least a 20 to 40 minute walk; good for me and a load of fun for them as they get to sniff an ever-changing array of debris thrown up onto the coastline by the freezing Atlantic. There are hundreds of seagulls that Bear has great delight in chasing - although as of yet he hasn't caught anything apart from that daft goose he chased the other day - and a huge amount of dead sea-life, shattered mussel shells, seaweed, shark eggs even, and all sorts of other things.

The seagulls seem to eat the mussel shells,which somehow their iron stomachs break down into this fine grit that they mess all over the beach in massive quantities. There are also loads of little rock-like things; well they look like rocks until you pick them up and then they are semi-soft; must be some kind of ocean sponge.The dogs have great delight in digging them into the sand and playing - the whole experience must be a total sensory overload for them. 

On top of all the natural debris that the Atlantic throws onto the beaches, there is a startling amount of human rubbish - bottles, bags, fishing line, plastic, left over coals from fires, bones that people leave lying around and a huge amount of other stuff. All of this is detrimental to the sea-life in some way, and people don't seem to realize or care just what they are doing to the environment around them by refusing to pick up their litter. 

Each bit of plastic could be the end of some animals life; whether they think it's a jellyfish or if its fishing line that gets stuck in their claws or around their necks. It is shocking and depressing to see just what humans are doing to this last wild coastline as they use it to abuse the fishing, party, and run their quad bikes and cars over the Tern's nesting grounds. The authorities have cordoned off areas where no one is meant to be allowed to drive, but the people here have scant regard for them or for conservation and instead complain that they are ruining holidays and income from tourism by refusing entry to sections of the dunes and beaches. 

How small-minded - they don't seem to realize that when they are done destroying the coastline in the name of fun there won't be anything left to support our pathetic existence in this barren area and so won't be able to enjoy it anyway. What with rising sea levels and an angry Atlantic, it might not be long before Aranos is the new Swakop!

The Birthday Month

Well, it didn't work out quite as expected.

I had planned to go away on the 8th and 9th,have a big party on the 15th, and go to a lodge on the 22nd, which is our actual birthday. The 8th and 9th was scrapped as we had wanted to go to the farm but due to certain people (not us lol, read previous post) acting like children we didn't go. Then on the 15th we were invited to Omaruru, so off we went,and the party was scrapped.

It was the Festival of Arts or some such in Omaruru, so that would have been great to go to, but as usual that didn't work out either. Pio's cousin Behan and his wife Androette had a baby and so we collected Granny in Omaruru and drove on to Otjiwarongo to spend the night there and see the little mite. Kayla is tiny! We had a lovely evening and a braai with them, saw the baby, which sent Granny over the moon and she kept wanting to know when I would have one.

On Saturday morning we drove to Lilian and Jacks' farm on the outskirts of Otjiwarongo. Unfortunately I surprised them and so they weren't particularly happy to see me but showed us around. The farm hasn't changed a lot from when we were there - just bigger gardens and a lot more bird cages! They have the most incredible birds, imported from all over, in the most beautiful aviaries.

After that we drove back to Omaruru and had a really quiet evening, watched the rugby, and went to bed early.I also walked into a glass door without even having a drink :) proof that alcohol doesn't really cause you to do idiotic things! Sunday we had breakfast, Pio went to see Dan's huge collection of old cars, and then drove home.

Our actual birthday weekend went down the tubes as well as no one could look after the house, so on the Friday night we had a braai on the beach with Rian, Anika and Joani, which was really good. We had huge t-bone steaks, froze to death, and they made us down totally vile concoction to apparently celebrate our birthday. It hit Pio like a ton of bricks so he was man-down, and we then decided to go to General's for a drink, which we did and then went home.

On Saturday we watched the rugby at Gruner Kranz, ran into Vanessa and Wentworth, and they also did their best to get us drunk. We ducked home early after the game and had a very uninteresting Sunday chilling and watching TV.

So all in all the birthday wasn't quite what I wanted it to be, but we had some fun!

What a Weekend!

Every week, from Monday to Thursday, I complain that I am getting old and need to stop drinking and partying. Every week, from Monday to Thursday, Pio ignores me and somehow half the town lands up in my living room braaiing and making an incredible mess of my house. Thank heavens glasses are cheap - thank you Hardus who broke THREE on Friday night. Although him dancing with the mop whilst attempting to clean up his mess was rather amusing as well as futile - he missed most of the mess whilst managing to look like he had stepped out of Mary Poppins with a mop instead of a chimney sweep.

So there you go, Friday originally began as I spent the week saying that I did not want to party but we had to sort the Pajero out with Gustav and I wanted to make burgers. So this moved from Tuesday night all the way to Friday night, and instead of just being Gustav turned out to be Gustav, Joani, Hardus, Rian, and Annika. OK, great. There went my peaceful Friday evening. 

Then, at around 6pm on Friday night guess who rings Pio - Francois who is on his way to Swakop with Alex, an American mate of Pio's that he met whilst staying in the guesthouse. Fine, add some more people then, and hope that we have enough rolls, mince and salads for the burgers. 

And so everyone slowly trickled in, and all was going great until Francois and Alex arrived. I was sitting in the lounge next to the fire talking to Joani and Annika, and all of a sudden I hear Bear chunk and he comes bolting in to hide behind me. I knew something was of, but on asking about it was told that Bear jumped out of the car and landed wrong. I then went to the loo and he cowered behind me then hid on the bed and actually stayed with me when I cuddled up to him. So that was it, I knew something was wrong. 

So eventually they admitted it to me; Bear had gone to greet Francois and sniffed his crotch and Francois had belted the shit out of him. Pio had told everyone to not tell me as I would blow a gasket, but I know my dog. He asked if I could just leave it, so I said fine, and my dog hid behind me for the rest of the evening. I was furious. It only got worse; Francois and Gustav got into an argument about dogs as Francois kept going on about f'ing dogs up, and Francois was so drunk he tried to push Gustav around. Gustav, although on his ear, had stuck up for my dog and told Francois if he hit Bear again he would feel it.

So they attempted to get into a fight outside the front door, and I lost it, jumped in between them and then had a go and a half, and (screaming mind you) told them to grow up and that they could only come back into my house when they had made peace. Enthusiastically snarled at them, told them to stay the f out, and slammed the gate very satisfyingly behind me. I was clearly red in the face when I got back inside, so Rian and Hardus asked what was going on, I said fight and had another enthusiastic rant, and Rian and Hardus ran out the door lightning fast to see what was going on. 

Needless to say ten minutes later peace was made and everyone came back inside. Long and short of it, Francois was a drunk moron that is no longer welcome in my house nor will I go to his farm, and his mate Alex is an arrogant American twit that spent the night raving about himself and everything that he personally has done for this country and all the government ministers etc etc that he knows and has lunches and dinners with. I took great pleasure in telling him that the government here means nothing so he can stop bragging, and I probably know them all anyway so he has no reason to brag about it. MORON!!!

So thank heavens they left, and from then on we had a really pleasant evening and the burgers were a big hit - Pio and I only got one each so everyone else must have enjoyed them. Hardus took over the braai from Pio and happily splatted burgers (hopefully he washed his hands) and braaied them. Hardus then went on to break the three glasses (I suspect it might actually be 4) and then danced with the mop. Shortly after he also got out his harmonica and played along to a few songs, which was great. 

Saturday we were going to Rian and Annika to watch the rugby, and that was also great fun. Gustav and Joani joined us, and I blame it solely on Gustav that I got drunk - we were playing darts, and someone has to nominate someone else, then you pick a number, and depending on how many times they hit that number is depending on how many times the poor idiot (me that picked the wrong number apparently) drinks. I got hit 3 times, and that was me sitting in the corner woefully dreaming of my bed. 

Nevertheless, they all refused to let me go home, and before you knew it they had me dancing in the lounge with Rian, Pio and Gustav. Joani and Annika joined in and it was great until they started to go on about going out for a drink - Rian

Sunday we chilled and did literally nothing. Was great.

Photos

Good Food and Friends

Well, last night I got caught up ranting about my phone to everyone online, and so didn't realize the time until it was gone 4pm, and then hadn't taken out anything to defrost and so lost all interest in cooking. I thought to myself  "Possibly Pio will cook when he comes in ... " should have known that was too much - he said "Of course I'll cook" and headed for the frozen sausage rolls in the freezer. How original. 

Joani arrived, as she and I were meant to go and do a recce for an idea I have had, but we got side-tracked. So anyway, we decided to go to Ocean Basket for dinner as we haven't been in a while and cooking was looking less and less like an option. Pio normally eats a great big lunch very day, and so isn't hungry when he gets in, compared to me who is starving by 6pm as I eat very little during the day.

So anyway, off we go, after putting the dog bed outside for Bear and Kita, and giving them each a big bone to chew on to keep them amused in the time that we would be gone. It really is a huge relief knowing that they have each other now and poor Bear isn't lying there alone missing us with a soulful look in his big brown eyes!

We sat outside at Ocean Basket, its cold now but being horrible smokers that is the only choice we have! It was actually a very pleasant evening, we had a drink and then ordered 18 prawns with fresh bread, garlic, chillies and butter and had that as a starter, it was divine. For mains Pio and I had Kingklip with mussels and prawns, and Joani had a platter.

It was just so nice sitting there, chilling, eating, talking rubbish, and the food was great. We left just after 8pm so still had an early night, and good food. 

Came home to discover that Kita had found the niche in the dog bed and ripped a lot of the stuffing out ...

WTF? GULP

Right people, this is your chance to rub in my face what a sarcastic and short-fused cow I am. I woke up this morning, and as I was leaving for work start looking for my phone. I couldn't find it anywhere, and so then rang it - it was off. Sit back and think for a while ... the last time I used it was at DHL yesterday afternoon. So I thought OK, must have left it there, as I didn't look for it all of yesterday or use it, and used Pio's alarm clock this morning to wake up with. 

Off I go to work and ring DHL - of course they don't have it. I politely told them that if anyone has taken it I was going to block it and report it stolen so if I caught anyone with it would charge them. I was very nice about it though, didn't rant and rave at them THANK HEAVENS. I did rant and rave on facebook though ... never have you seen a comment deleted faster than that once I realized ... I swear, this bloody dog is going to cost me a fortune. Already has and it seems it's only going to get worse. 

Took them both to the vet this afternoon, Kita for her first shots which she hasn't yet had - not at all good considering she is almost 4 months old, and Bear because he is wheezing - no bloody wonder he probably has eaten a sock or something little monster. This garden must be a gold mine for the gardener!!

So now I have a chewed phone. The Blackberry will not come on, and after trying to contact Blackberry I feel that they can shove their  "support" up their behinds as they refuse to deal with my query. The T303 is still locked and it seems that no one can unlock it, so I may just have to use my phone with no back and full of teeth marks. And Vicky's phone sock that she so kindly gave me is all shredded ... :-( 

AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH remind me again WHY I wanted animals?? The cats and Maya have cost us a total of 18 thousand this month from destroying furniture in the other house, Bear has cost heaven only knows how much in chewed clothes and shoes and now my phone. The cats claw the furniture which means never will we but anything new other than electrical appliances as those they don't seem to scratch. The joy ...

Kita with the Curly Tail

The few funny things that happened yesterday I thought I may as well write about. Should have done it last night but there you go - Bear has literally just run out of the house with something of mine in his mouth ... So after me running in and out all day and cleaning and making dinner and and and and, when Pio got home I suggested we take them out. 

So off we went in the car to a beach near to us, which we hoped had no dogs on. Unfortunately it did, and as usual Bear went berserk. Pio had Kita as she is meant to be his dog and he must train her now, and Bear is mine (sodding good training I have done, that dog hitting the end of his rope lunging after other dogs almost took me off my feet more than once). All he wants to do is say hello, but other people dislike him as he is so rough and generally bowls their dogs straight off their feet in his enthusiasm. 

So there we were, me holding Bear whilst he jumped and lunged against his rope (which is literally just a rope as I haven't had time to buy a new lead) barking and looking like he was about to murder those poor other dogs. Kita, who hasn't had any interaction with other dogs, (Bear was the first stranger that she met) took Bear's lead and went mad at them as well - great.

We gave up and took them to another beach further away on the road out of town where they could have a good run in peace without chasing and mauling other dogs.We had hoped that by getting another dog, Bear's obsession with chasing and mauling stranger dogs on the beach would stop, but alas no it seems. Anyway they had a good run, Bear being a dominating male pig most of the time.

Once back at home, we had dinner etc etc and decided to watch a movie on the projector - Old dogs with Robin Williams and John Travolta. One of the first pics on the screen was that of John Travolta's dog, and Kita, seeing this, went ballistic barking at the screen. We don't know if it is the size of the screen so that it makes people look like they're real life-size or what was going through her head, but she was totally not on board with this whole story. Pio had to sit with her for ages to calm her down, it was really funny.

She is very protective of her house it seems, she barks and goes for poor Merencia whom Bear adores, and anyone else that she doesn't know as well. That's all well and good now that she's small but when she's the size of her Dad (who apparently weighs 65 kg's) it could be a problem. Johnny in the garden is coming today, and it will be after I have left for work, so am hoping that she leaves him in relative peace and doesn't bite him! So yes, we finally have a watch dog.

Bear yesterday also managed to destroy the new toy I bought the cats within 5 minutes of buying it - I hadn't even taken it out the packaging and he had broken it ... sigh. Poor Lucifer was dragging the feathers around as he absolutely loves them, and then Bear stole those and ate them another ten minutes later. Poor Luce, the little bugger loses all his toys to Bear, it's shocking. 

Anyway, time to get dressed for work and begin another day ... yay! Am so thrilled.

Another day

Has flown by, as usual. Nothing of particular interest or excitement though, and am rather bored which is the only reason I am writing anything now! Not that I know what to write - this means we get to find out just how useless my writing skills are when I have nothing of interest to say.

"Lizzy" and "Craig" have both chatted with me, insulted me and called me old, so all three of us are on good terms although Lizzy seems to feel she is a swingers chat room as all 3 of us were chatting at the same time and relaying sarcastic comments and insults. Feels almost like I'm back in England! 

Kita, the latest addition to the mad house, is settling in well. She is a "talker", and so when she gets excited or sees you for the first time she howls with excitement which is very cute. Bear has stopped howling at the gate like a lost child, so hopefully the old bid that keeps grilling me about his welfare will stop! Seriously though, who could ever mistake a big, fat, shiny-coated mutt that constantly has half my clothes and bones the size of himself to eat every day, as being ill-treated??? He eats better than I do. 

She took a chomp out of Lucifer this morning, vicious little bag, so got her bum truly smacked. My cats are totally off-limits to these crazy dogs and they better believe I will drop them off at SPCA if they do! Yes, I am an evil Mother that doesn't care for her children. Poor Lucifer who is a very brave if very small little soul tried to put her in her place and got taken out - he spent the rest of the morning quaking on the garden roof / wall and came running when I got home from work crying his little heart out. Kita Cow will get her ass kicked if she goes down that road again!!!

She kept us up quite a lot last night - I think she gets bored. Bear climbs in and out the window in the lounge and so keeps himself amused, but she is still too little to and so wakes us up. I was so amazed, Pio actually got up for her to let her out! It didn't help that I had to get up 5 minutes later to get her back in, but the thought was there and it was truly appreciated. 

I also got a long email from Hope which was great, and finally got to send some photos out to everyone of our menagerie and Pio and myself. Sharon kindly told me that I have lost weight and am looking rather thin ... sigh ... can we ever win? Scrawny me - comes from running after 5 animals and a male child of 30. 

Anyway, nothing interesting and exiting to report so am off to shower and read my book!

Well well ...

Who would have thought ... 

I got a very strange message today, from a good friend of mine in England. As she wishes to remain anonymous as no one apparently knows this secret, let's think of a name for her - OK, Elizabeth! Lizzy for short ha ha ha - that's out of spite as she calls me that lol. "Rhoda Elizabeth Jones!!!" She shrieks when she's annoyed with me; I don't have a middle name, but she says it carries more weight if she adds one in.

Now we need a name for the other character in this story ... difficult one actually ... he and I go back aways ... umm Craig will have to do. First thing that popped into my head apart from Pio or Tiaan and I can't steal their names, would just be weird really. Craig and I used to work together quite closely and for some time, and I thought he was really quite fit but I was in a relationship and so was he, and we were really just good mates, got along like a house on fire. Lizzy was always the one going "No I don't think he's fit, not my type at all!" Huh!! (very loud snort)

So Lizzy sends me a very odd mail this afternoon. It begins: "I have a bit of news for you and have no idea how you are going to react….so please read this very carefully and try and keep an open mind….looking forward to your reaction ... "
                                        

Right, so this immediately makes me think Oh Good Lord, she's pregnant; or something equally disastrous. On it goes, saying that she really would like it if I didn't bite her head off, and I needed to read and think before I reacted, and take things calmly dot dot dot. Hmmm. Turns out the great dramatic news was simply that the two of them had gotten together! Odd yes, how on earth they managed to get that right am really not very sure at all :-) but overall it is very good news. Apparently both of them were apparently terrified at my reaction and waiting for it with bated breath. Idiots. The only reaction Lizzy got was me pissing myself with laughter. 
                                                     

Then, the old evil side kicks in ... 

"Lizzy," I say, "Shall I mail Craig and tell him off as I imagined that he was saving himself for me and now he's pulling into my best mate, shock horror??? Am mortally wounded whatnot whatnot."
                                          

Lizzy is really just as evil: "Go for it!" she says. So there I go, type a quick mail to Craig and crap him out, saying how dare he go near my best mate, it's totally out of line! Unfortunately, the silly cow is obviously totally crazy about him as she bloody went and told him it was only a joke ... sigh ... there went my afternoon of fun. On the other hand, I could always email HER tomorrow and say that I had a good think about it and am horrified by it, they have broken my delicate heart! Bless her, could I be so cruel - uh, yes!!
                                        

Overall the jokes and laughs, it's kind of bittersweet for me, and really makes me think of ol' England and the friends that have been so good to me. Whenever I'm down, something will happen, and their comments and emails and words really have made a difference. The freaky thing is, I have this kind of feeling that this is it for them, etc etc - another "end of an era". 
                                               

Who knows, maybe I am wrong, but they fit. And whichever way it goes I can only wish them the best of luck, xo xo.

OK, I actually shrieked

About what? Well, this is a story. 

I am now 27 years old, 28 being a mere month away, and have never had the courage to go for a Brazilian wax, which is apparently one of the things you should do before you die - quite frankly, the idiot that said that is probably male and wouldn't let a woman wielding hot wax anywhere near that specific area of his anatomy. Moron. 

Well my darling lady, Alicia, that takes great delight in ripping the rest of my body hair out once a month, has always said "Go on, you won't regret it, it's great, and the pain is really only irritating more than painful! You'll be fine!" I think that beauticians are taught to lie in beauty school in order to sell painful and unnecessary treatments to clients and line their pockets - sorry Alicia, I love you to bits.
                                                                                                                                      

So, this month, I was suitably hairy enough to have it all ripped out, and for some stupid reason, without even thinking about it, did an Internet payment to her before I went for full leg, bikini, Brazilian, and underarm - clearly I have no brains. I know that there are women out there that have a high pain threshold and can handle these things - I am not one of those. I generally have to split my wax over two days and come out shaking like a leaf in a breeze, then have to down some sort of alcohol after to numb the pain and walk funny til the pain subsides enough to go back to normal.

So off I went, in high spirits, and when I arrived told Alicia cheerfully that I had paid for it but would see how I went, I probably wouldn't have the courage. Alicia is great at getting me on that table in my underwear and then not letting me get back up again til she's ripped every last bit of wax off and then tweezed a few extra ones as well the cow. I sometimes wonder if you have to be a sadist to be a beautician, sugar-coating pain is their trade mark! 

So we did the legs, front and back, and as long as I keep talking I'm generally OK as then I am either laughing or up in arms about something, and bless her heart, Alicia tries her best to keep me talking so that I don't swear - she is a good Christian girl and I feel awful for f'ing and blinding in front of her - I should take a wooden spoon with next time to bite down on actually, that might help.

On we went to the bikini line, and then the dreaded words came: "Right, knickers off!" 

I gulped: "Do I have to?" 

"Well no," says Alicia cheerfully, "but then I can't really see what I'm doing."

Right, thanks to my parents, I am very strong on the point of if you're going to do something, do it properly. I dropped my knickers. Shocking I know. Thank heavens no one really reads this blog, as it only gets worse. Sorry Mom, you're going to be totally scandalized.

The worse bit being is that in order to complete a Brazilian, you have to wax almost everything off down there, apart from a wee bit on top. In order to get to these slightly inaccessible bits, the legs need to be spread...This was actually worse than my first ever smear - a possibly worse than all of them rolled into one ... but there you go, "finish the job properly" echoing in my head and all, thanks Mum and Dad, don't I wish I was a half-job Harry!

So off we go, bright purple wax smeared all over - something else sugar-coated might I add; do they think that because the wax is a gorgeous shade of purple you'll be too busy admiring it to not scream in pain?? The top wasn't so bad, I must say. Painful yes, but only slightly worse than the normal bikini area, so bearable I suppose. The sides however (how do I say this without it being incredibly rude??) am not sure. Well the best and all that I will say is the top is done, so use your imagination to figure out what is left - the sides of down there!!! AAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!

When the first bright purple bit if wax was ripped off, Alicia briskly and professionally saying that once you've seen one you've seen them all, I actually shrieked and said "F" at the top of my lungs. That pain is totally indescribable and it really didn't stop for quite some time. The part that I am sure most people will find rather amusing, is that Alicia's beautiful little beauty room is within a gym - so you have to walk through a gym that is generally filled with people to get to her, and as I can hear music and people from inside with the door closed, I am damn sure they heard me!!! Walking out after was rather embarrassing to say the least. 

"See?" Alicia said cheerfully. "It's done and it wasn't so bad was it?"

I was still biting my hand to prevent myself screaming again. "It's not done!" I shrieked when I could talk again. "You have to do the other side!" My horror at this was also indescribable. Sod Chinese torture, next time Pio pisses me off I am waiting til he's asleep and am going to spread wax all over his balls and then wake him up and wish him the best of luck.

"Yes yes," Alicia says cheerfully, "But its only one more tiny strip and we're done!" Oh yes, of course we're done, except there were 3 more strips and my underarms!!! Only then I was able to get up and put my clothes back on very gingerly. 

Alicia then cheerfully told me that in the meantime since my last visit, that her prices had actually increased, so I owed her money. My jaw dropped - basically, I hadn't actually paid for a Brazilian, but the very clever girl had done it and THEN told me. She probably knew that if she told me before I would never have agreed to it - I admire her!

I gratefully left after forking out some more cash, looking at the floor as I ran through the gym! 

So word to the wise ladies - a Brazilian really isn't all that its cracked up to, and quite frankly, that very well may be the last time I ever venture down that stupidly painful road. Apparently it was the Egyptians that first came up with the idea of waxing (thanks Wikipedia) and honestly, what a bunch of idiots. Surely, with all the technology out there in the world, if a man can walk on the moon, why the hell can't there be a painless way to remove hair??

Should have been titled "Today" ...

but thanks to crappy internet that wasn't possible, so we will have to settle with calling this post "Yesterday".

It was a rather amusing day and started off fairly well. I went to work with nothing untoward happening. Bear was no madder or crazier than usual. I managed to get some stuff done at work that was half decent, finally, thank heavens, now I just bet they won't like it ...

Anyway, got home, all well and good. Apart from the fact that Bear was lying peacefully on the front step as if it was impossible for him to climb through the lounge windows and ravage the house. His one error - evidence! One of my poor shoes was lying in front of him whilst he looked up at me with innocent brown eyes, all excited to see me. Well, he got a smack with said shoe and sulked for the rest of the afternoon.

I had to take Lillith to the vet, so off I trotted with a small yowling cat in her basket, all the way to town. My time at the vet was rather informative. Lillith requires daily sunblocking as she is so white - great stuff, have to go buy SPF50 for my cat ... we also discussed Bear's problem of being so horny it must be driving him totally insane, and the benefits of having his balls chopped off. It seems like a great plan, however, we also worked out that testosterone helps develop muscle structure and all that bollocks, so we are going to try and hang on until he is a year or so old and fully grown before removing these rather offending items that make my life difficult ...

The most amusing part of all of this though is that my delicate, white-furred, blue-eyed kitten named Lillith, whom EVERYONE that looked said was female (shows how much you lot know) is actually a BOY!! So after a mild disagreement I decided to believe the vet as he clearly has more expertise in that area than I do, however it gave him a good laugh. Now, we have to think of a new name for this terror as well - so far the vet suggested Goliath, which I quite like as hopefully he'll grow to be big and strong but that is rather doubtful, and then Banzai, Kovu, or Nuka from the Lion King, so decisions decisions.

Well, so off we went home, Lillith / Goliath etc with a newly acquired pair of balls. I am becoming severely outnumbered in this house, 4 males to 2 females - no wonder Nala was so pissed at the latest addition, now I don't blame her in the slightest!

Anyway, so on getting home with my cat in tow who insisted on riding out of his cage, Bear came to greet us with all the enthusiasm in the world, finally over his sulk that had lasted from 1pm to what was now 4:25pm. Poor bugger, I had another appointment and had to drop them and run off again, only getting home after 5. Pio of course neglected to tell me that he was already in town when I left and so had to sit on the back lawn waiting as well!

So we progressed with dinner and choosing names for Goliath etc, which we still have not decided on, and made chicken in soy on jasime rice which sounds rather exotic but I think it was rather gross. I was kind enough to put rice, gravy, and all the chicken skin aside for Bear, and even gave it to him in one of our white bowls that Christine bought us - don't tell her ...

Bear has a thing, and this does not come from spoiling at all. He will only eat what is either fed to him on one of our plates or off one of our plates when it is done in full sight of him so that he cannot be conned into eating dog food. I tried to con him last night, he wouldn't accept it. However, when I scraped my leftovers on top of his bowl or chicken and rice, he ate it all, neatly leaving the "dog food". Little shit.

Anyway, so Pio was finishing up some work, and I attempted to brush Bear. This dog has an incredibly woolly bum. The rest of him is normal Husky fur, however his bum has an extra layer of down that is just incredibly thick and constantly itchy. Brushing him is always a war, where he chews me, runs around, and practically has to be held down whilst I attack him to try and get some of this down out. I made the mistake of leaving the brush lying within his reach the one day and so he attempted to destroy it, so every time I use it I get splinters as well from a mutilated handle. War over, once he had bitten me, fallen on top of my hand, got a smack for his trouble, and eaten some of his own fur as if he hates to part with it, we decided to take him for a walk.

So in the car and off we go .. yet now there are other dogs on the beach. A pleasant couple with three practically puppies, a Pit Bull, Staffie cross Jack Russell and another Jack Russell. Pio made the fatal mistake of allowing Bear to pull him along, and so the dog went wild and bowled all three pups off their feet. It took quite some time to calm him down and get him away from them. On we continued, me eventually taking Bear as Pio had not a lot of control over him and was being pulled down the beach like a steam train.

We let him off eventually, when the other dogs were out of sight, however he spotted the tiniest little dog (like Dee's whatever that rat is) and attempted to take it on. Well 5 minutes later we were in total hysterics, as this tiny dog no bigger than Bear's head, chased him all over the beach, up and down, biting him and yapping at his heels. Finally, Bear had met his match in something one tenth of his size. We finally rescued him after having a good laugh, and then he was in a total sulk with us. We got as far as the car, and in a strop, he decided that he had had enough, and bottled back down the beach. This is the first time that he has done this, and I am sure that it was because he was in a total sulk over us leaving him to be abused by a teeny-tiny mutt.

Off I want to fetch him, and he got put back on his lead and made to walk next to me back to the car. Well it took him some time to get over that latest offense! He lay in front of the door at home in yet another major sulk, and after giving him time to cool off I had to make amends ...

Honestly ... with these moods and temper tantrums, who needs kids????