Work Work Work

It is so depressing having to go back to work after two months of sitting on my butt doing whatever I felt like doing at the time. So from today (apart from next week Thursday and Friday when I have my eye operated on) I will be working 7 days a week on into the unforeseeable future. That is SERIOUSLY DEPRESSING but seems better when its all for a good cause I guess.

So for now its save every penny that I can get my hands on so that I can pay off the damned credit card and visa and have some for when I return to Namibia as a backstop. And then, providing all goes well, I will be able to open my own business and not have to work for anyone! Sounds like heaven, we can only hope that it happens.

I have all the normal worries - well, are they normal??? I'm leaving my family and a British passport to have a life that I would like. If my relationship goes wrong then I have nowhere to return but to South Africa, which I don't want to do. But then again, I don't want to be in England either really, except for my family ... And then, if this relationship doesn't work, what am I going to do with myself?? That would be a serious let-down. What if he turns out to be a very different person from the one I know when I get there to live permanently? What is it going to be like living so far away from my family? I am going to miss my parents and my nephews and my brothers and sisters and have no communication with them other than email.

I will also be living in a place that is predominently Afrikaans and German, of which I am crap at both. The German community does not welcome outsiders in with open arms and so that will be hard, particularly when opening your own business as well. I will need to learn the language - I did actually book myself on a German course last year and at the last minute the college cancelled it due to not enough people going for it. Can't win really.

So here I am, off to work with a load on my mind and not quite sure where to start ...

Back in England ...

... And guess what ?? Its raining!!!! What a surprise! Since I landed last Week Wednesday 6th August, we have had a few hours of sun here and there, followed by more rain and more clouds and more rain ... Although I did spend a week in Jersey and although it rained there too I think they definitely have better weather overall.

Anyway, so here I am after spending two months in Africa (Mid-winter in Africa I might add, where I sat on the beach and got a tan) and I am wondering what on earth I am really doing here. The weather is miserable 90% of the time, and 90% of the people are miserable too - makes for great days, I tell you! Nothing like loving the place you live!

After much deliberation and discussions, I have decided to give up my British passport and return to Namibia permanently. I don't want to settle in the UK permanently and so I think that even though I have been here for so long and my family is here, its time to make my own life. So as soon as I can get things organised I will be packing my bags and moving.

In the meantime, I need as much cash as I can get and so will be working two jobs 7 days a week - starting tomorrow! I didn't realise how lazy I'd become ... ha ha, don't I wish. So for a while its going to be lots of hard work for horrible pay, but for themoment it will have to be done. Hopefully it won't take long to get organised, or no doubt my plans will change again ...

I am off to enjoy my final day of freedom ....