Three Beautiful Things for today ... (really struggling with this today!)
1. My car was not frozen solid this morning - Yay!
2. Alicia and I bought some mad crazy Christmas hats to wear in the office - I now have a bright red cowboy hat with white feather trim sitting on my desk! lol
3. Terry gave me a bottle of wine and a Christmas kiss! He's a honey.
Daily News ...
Well yesterday was a rubbish day and today is shaping up to be pretty much the same! So much for Christmas spirit!
Today, I am so quiet at work that I actually have NOTHING to do and am sitting at my desk twiddling my thumbs and trying to think up ways to pass the day! Wish my life away! I have done a few bits and pieces and ma now trawling the net in search of cheap flights – at Christmas?? What a laugh! The airlines have doubled their already ridiculous prices, and I am now facing a bleak Christmas and New Year in England. It’s so cold L …
Hey, I know this is my own fault due to the fact that I NEVER plan ahead! But hey, if you were stuck in a different country to your boyfriend, wouldn’t you like to try and join him?? So, my dilemma at this moment, is waste a huge amount of money, get into debt, BUT get to spend the time with my favourite person … I think I’m going to waste a HUGE amount of money and go …
This also means that I will be able to catch some sun and have two weeks away from my hectic life at the minute, and instead of fighting with my boyfriend because we have spent 8 weeks together out of 9 months, we’ll actually be talking to each other, so that is a bonus as well!
Apart from that, I am sitting in my office, waiting for Terry to arrive from London, for the final Press Review of the year. We do this once a month, and unfortunately this year seems to be ending on a low note as we are having problems with one of our specialist cars. Terry will be arriving just after 2pm, and I’ll be at lunch between 1 and 2, so that should keep me busy.
So, I will let you know when I make my decision on whether I will be having a warm Christmas or a cold one!
Today, I am so quiet at work that I actually have NOTHING to do and am sitting at my desk twiddling my thumbs and trying to think up ways to pass the day! Wish my life away! I have done a few bits and pieces and ma now trawling the net in search of cheap flights – at Christmas?? What a laugh! The airlines have doubled their already ridiculous prices, and I am now facing a bleak Christmas and New Year in England. It’s so cold L …
Hey, I know this is my own fault due to the fact that I NEVER plan ahead! But hey, if you were stuck in a different country to your boyfriend, wouldn’t you like to try and join him?? So, my dilemma at this moment, is waste a huge amount of money, get into debt, BUT get to spend the time with my favourite person … I think I’m going to waste a HUGE amount of money and go …
This also means that I will be able to catch some sun and have two weeks away from my hectic life at the minute, and instead of fighting with my boyfriend because we have spent 8 weeks together out of 9 months, we’ll actually be talking to each other, so that is a bonus as well!
Apart from that, I am sitting in my office, waiting for Terry to arrive from London, for the final Press Review of the year. We do this once a month, and unfortunately this year seems to be ending on a low note as we are having problems with one of our specialist cars. Terry will be arriving just after 2pm, and I’ll be at lunch between 1 and 2, so that should keep me busy.
So, I will let you know when I make my decision on whether I will be having a warm Christmas or a cold one!
Monday Blues ...
Monday. Sigh.
BUT: I have discovered a new and positive way to try and drag myself out of my nasty state of wanting to hibernate and tell the rest of the world to sod off! Its called 3BT - please note the link to a Blog on your right side of the page called "Three Beautiful Things".
3BT is about naming three things each day that you find beautiful. OK, so because I am such a miserable sod at the minute, thinking of these things does at first seem a little more difficult. I sat at work thinking "What is so bloody nice about this place??" really in a right grump. But now that I think of it, there are things every day that you can really take to heart and think, those little things made my day.
So for today, here are my Three Beautiful Things:
* I won an argument with my exec - Scrooge! (OK, that was evil, but it made me grin!)
* I saw the most beautiful little kitten that needs a home, and I fell in love with him!
* And maybe most importantly, after spending a large part of the last week arguing with my boyfriend, on the end of a message, I got an "I love you".
BUT: I have discovered a new and positive way to try and drag myself out of my nasty state of wanting to hibernate and tell the rest of the world to sod off! Its called 3BT - please note the link to a Blog on your right side of the page called "Three Beautiful Things".
3BT is about naming three things each day that you find beautiful. OK, so because I am such a miserable sod at the minute, thinking of these things does at first seem a little more difficult. I sat at work thinking "What is so bloody nice about this place??" really in a right grump. But now that I think of it, there are things every day that you can really take to heart and think, those little things made my day.
So for today, here are my Three Beautiful Things:
* I won an argument with my exec - Scrooge! (OK, that was evil, but it made me grin!)
* I saw the most beautiful little kitten that needs a home, and I fell in love with him!
* And maybe most importantly, after spending a large part of the last week arguing with my boyfriend, on the end of a message, I got an "I love you".
Scrooge & Christmas Cheer ...
To paint the picture of all of you, I work in quite a big office, there are about 50 of us, dotted across the room in little groups of 4 and 6 as we are split into our various teams. So unfortunately I am in the middle of the room, so when I am as totally bored as I am today, I can’t even surf the internet in peace as I have about 25 people sitting behind me.
Anyway! Now that it is Christmas, the people that are in the cheery Christmas mood have strung up all sorts of gaudy decorations to brighten the office and make it as tacky as possible. We have the most awful tree that should have been burnt about 10 years ago, that is hung with the worst and completely mismatched baubles and strings of cast off tinsel from someone’s house. It does have lights on it though – I am still wondering which skinflint in the office decided to give those treasures up!
So, with all this Christmas cheer all around us, I am quite sad to admit that my little set of 4 desks – the Nissan live fleet team – is the only desks in the office that have NO DECORATIONS. None. Nada. Niks! This is partly because out exec is a mean spirited Scrooge that has told us we can put up minimal decorations, nothing is allowed to hang from the ceiling and we are not to offend our religious colleague. My religious colleague has said that he won’t be offended as he does not celebrate and we can do what we like. So, now that this argument has gone on for over a week, and we are finally given the go ahead, Alicia and I cannot find any flipping decorations to put up!!! Murphy’s bloody law.
We have been to town three times this week alone looking for a little tree, or something that we can use to brighten our desks, that will not offend either the Scrooge or my religious colleague. I fully understand religion and accept it and don’t have any issue with what he believes, however, Scrooge sits there at his desk discussing with us how much his Christmas presents have cost him and in practically the same breath says that he does not celebrate!
I cannot believe that I am working with the reincarnation of Scrooge himself.
Enough complaining about him – back to the point!! The only tree that we could find was a fluffy pink feather one in WH Smith and neither of us were quite into that. So in the whole town, there seems to be a huge shortage of baby Christmas trees. So, I have now hit on a new plan and will possibly go to a nursery over the weekend and buy a real one. Then I can use it every year and when it’s not parked on my desk being pretty with decorations it can either be a bit of greenery for the office or I can take it home and stick it outside the back door.
And tomorrow we get to go for a Christmas meal and a tipple with some of the people from work. We’re going to an Italian for dinner and drinks and will then hit the town if we so fancy. As someone else has just bought out our company, we have not had the normal Christmas Party for the entire company that includes the roast turkey dinner and all the trimmings, so we have settled for the Italian with a few people that are fairly close in our teams – please note that Scrooge has not been invited …
I will update you all on the hangover on Sunday morning ...
Anyway! Now that it is Christmas, the people that are in the cheery Christmas mood have strung up all sorts of gaudy decorations to brighten the office and make it as tacky as possible. We have the most awful tree that should have been burnt about 10 years ago, that is hung with the worst and completely mismatched baubles and strings of cast off tinsel from someone’s house. It does have lights on it though – I am still wondering which skinflint in the office decided to give those treasures up!
So, with all this Christmas cheer all around us, I am quite sad to admit that my little set of 4 desks – the Nissan live fleet team – is the only desks in the office that have NO DECORATIONS. None. Nada. Niks! This is partly because out exec is a mean spirited Scrooge that has told us we can put up minimal decorations, nothing is allowed to hang from the ceiling and we are not to offend our religious colleague. My religious colleague has said that he won’t be offended as he does not celebrate and we can do what we like. So, now that this argument has gone on for over a week, and we are finally given the go ahead, Alicia and I cannot find any flipping decorations to put up!!! Murphy’s bloody law.
We have been to town three times this week alone looking for a little tree, or something that we can use to brighten our desks, that will not offend either the Scrooge or my religious colleague. I fully understand religion and accept it and don’t have any issue with what he believes, however, Scrooge sits there at his desk discussing with us how much his Christmas presents have cost him and in practically the same breath says that he does not celebrate!
I cannot believe that I am working with the reincarnation of Scrooge himself.
Enough complaining about him – back to the point!! The only tree that we could find was a fluffy pink feather one in WH Smith and neither of us were quite into that. So in the whole town, there seems to be a huge shortage of baby Christmas trees. So, I have now hit on a new plan and will possibly go to a nursery over the weekend and buy a real one. Then I can use it every year and when it’s not parked on my desk being pretty with decorations it can either be a bit of greenery for the office or I can take it home and stick it outside the back door.
And tomorrow we get to go for a Christmas meal and a tipple with some of the people from work. We’re going to an Italian for dinner and drinks and will then hit the town if we so fancy. As someone else has just bought out our company, we have not had the normal Christmas Party for the entire company that includes the roast turkey dinner and all the trimmings, so we have settled for the Italian with a few people that are fairly close in our teams – please note that Scrooge has not been invited …
I will update you all on the hangover on Sunday morning ...
Life
I've realised today that life is super odd - only now?? You might say - Yes. Only now.
The people that you love the most you are the rudest to - the people that you dislike you're normally wonderfully polite to even though all the while you're contemplating on what the heaviest object is that you can hit them with ... Even your work colleagues normally get more respect than a family member.
So why do we do this?? Why do we push the ones that we love away? Why gather people around you that you don't really care about, and the ones that you do care for deeply get the tongue lashing of their lives when there is trouble in your life?
Maybe its just because you're not meant to be. Maybe its because you still have some lessons to learn in life, and if those people aren't strong enough to teach you that lesson they will fall by the wayside and never be forgotten, but they will be replaced.
So when is the time to give up and try move on - or is there ever a time to give up? Do you keep fighting although things never change?
The people that you love the most you are the rudest to - the people that you dislike you're normally wonderfully polite to even though all the while you're contemplating on what the heaviest object is that you can hit them with ... Even your work colleagues normally get more respect than a family member.
So why do we do this?? Why do we push the ones that we love away? Why gather people around you that you don't really care about, and the ones that you do care for deeply get the tongue lashing of their lives when there is trouble in your life?
Maybe its just because you're not meant to be. Maybe its because you still have some lessons to learn in life, and if those people aren't strong enough to teach you that lesson they will fall by the wayside and never be forgotten, but they will be replaced.
So when is the time to give up and try move on - or is there ever a time to give up? Do you keep fighting although things never change?
Losing a Friend
Today I lost a friend.
I hadn't known him very long, but he crept into my heart in his short little stay with us and now he has gone he has left a very big hole in a surprisingly small place.
Kai had to be put to sleep today. He hadn't ever gotten over his cold, and on his third visit to the vet today they discovered that he had feline AIDS. There was no alternative, so he went to sleep. Just a few months old.
For something so small, the house is now surprisingly empty and quiet. There's no laughing at his ridiculous antics as he tore around the house clawing the furniture and everything else, there's no yowling for food every time you go into the kitchen, there's no calling for and teasing him to play,and somehow, worst of all, there's no impossible little furry thing sitting on my keyboard trying to chase the keys as I type.
I looked for him when I got home tonight, just almost kind of expecting him to come waddling around the corner dragging his belly cos he'd eaten too much again.
Its silly getting attached to something so little in such a short time. Its just heart breaking that he was constantly so happy and yet so sick, and had to go so young.
I hadn't known him very long, but he crept into my heart in his short little stay with us and now he has gone he has left a very big hole in a surprisingly small place.
Kai had to be put to sleep today. He hadn't ever gotten over his cold, and on his third visit to the vet today they discovered that he had feline AIDS. There was no alternative, so he went to sleep. Just a few months old.
For something so small, the house is now surprisingly empty and quiet. There's no laughing at his ridiculous antics as he tore around the house clawing the furniture and everything else, there's no yowling for food every time you go into the kitchen, there's no calling for and teasing him to play,and somehow, worst of all, there's no impossible little furry thing sitting on my keyboard trying to chase the keys as I type.
I looked for him when I got home tonight, just almost kind of expecting him to come waddling around the corner dragging his belly cos he'd eaten too much again.
Its silly getting attached to something so little in such a short time. Its just heart breaking that he was constantly so happy and yet so sick, and had to go so young.
Christmas!!
We put the tree up tonight. I use the term "we" lightly, I got home late and so only watched while I cooked dinner! It was quite fun actually, Hope and Ian went all out for it, from the Christmas carols in the background to a glass of port each whilst they strung lights in the window and on the tree - and there's even a mini fibre optic tree in the dining room window!
Here's a pic of the tree almost done - and then Ian got hold of it ... it's now smothered in tinsel
which caused all manner of arguments between he and Hope! I laughed, had to. The tree is now perilously balanced on a box as its not tall enough for the mound of presents that have to go under it, so I really am expecting Kai to get carried away and lunge at a sparkling piece of tinsel with enthusiastic joy ... this will result in a 6 foot tree landing on his head and waking up the whole house giving us all a heart attack - it has to happen at night when we least expect it I reckon!
Anyway, I am going to start piling my presents underneath it as they are starting to take over my teeny room at the moment, which is a bit early, but hey, looks all the more festive!
Today at work all the decorations in the office went up as well, so it is really starting to feel like Christmas now - the office looks really festive and each department has all their own decorations up - confession, my desk is the only one that doesn't have any decorations because one of us is a Jehovah Witness and the other is a boring sod that doesn't like Christmas! Alicia and I went shopping today to look for a mini tree to put between us and couldn't find one, so we may just have to get through on everyone elses cheer and goodwill!
I also managed to get my Secret Santa gift - shoot me for being boring here, but hey, have been thinking very very hard and have not come up with anything! So, I bought a 2008 Diary and Year Planner thingy by the Me to You bears - probably not the right thing for a middle aged woman but hey, I tried!! I might go get some chocolates and add them to it to make myself feel better!
Well, its Christmas now. Time to eat too much, drink too much, waste too much money, have too much fun, and embarrass yourself at the work Christmas do! And then there's all the rest that goes with it, family and friends and realising how much they all mean to you. So its also time to say your sorry's, make up fights, and tell the people closest to you just how much they mean!
The Weekend
Well gosh, the week has flown by and bow so has the weekend! Yes, its still only Sunday morning, but I know that I won't be moving from the couch and the position that I am in for the rest of the day. Its raining outside, has been for days now and will still continue for days, so England has much to look forward to! So outside its dull and grey, the clouds hanging low, and inside its nice and warm and I have Kai attacking my toes and Precious glaring at me from the other couch because I am daring to play with him. The TV is on E4 Music for some reason, it was there when I turned it on so I left it and so I got to hear Backstreet Boys new song, Inconsolable!!! Who would have thought they would make a return along with the other aging "boybands" - should we call them ManBands now?? they are getting on - and actually make it!!
I remember when Take That returned on the scene and what a ruckus they caused! One of the girls that I worked with loved them with continuing teenage adoration and bought a load of tickets to one of their concerts for everyone in the office. I kindly refrained her offer of a ticket! Anyway, off they went, came back dreamy-eyed and raving about it the following day, and Gem had actually touched Gary Barlow's hand! She was ecstatic bless her heart. I have to admit though, I quite like the new song by Backstreet Boys! And I love the new song by Take That - look at me, can't remember the name! - from the soundtrack of Stardust!
Anyway, back to whatever it was we were going on about! I am trying to typ
e and keep getting interrupted by Kai and Precious. Kai, I have to admit, does tend to interrupt a little more that Precious does, and has actually tried to add his two cents worth into my blog - have a look at this pic!! He has re-arranged my desktop and changed the layout of my internet explorer already. I keep getting moaned at for letting him jump on an expensive piece of equipment but I can't help it, he makes me laugh.
e and keep getting interrupted by Kai and Precious. Kai, I have to admit, does tend to interrupt a little more that Precious does, and has actually tried to add his two cents worth into my blog - have a look at this pic!! He has re-arranged my desktop and changed the layout of my internet explorer already. I keep getting moaned at for letting him jump on an expensive piece of equipment but I can't help it, he makes me laugh.Well, I have no other news really. It has been a quiet week, and I have really perfected the art of looking super busy at work and doing nothing. I don't think that I will be that fortunate again this week, it will get busy again for the build up to Christmas.
I do have a couple of decisions to make that came up over the weekend as I have been talking to my boyfriend who is still in Namibia. Things are not as straight forward as they seem unfortunately and I may have to make the decision between my relationship and acquiring my British passport which I have already been waiting almost 6 years for. And right at Christmas time too!!!
I wrapped all my presents yesterday, they're all piled up in a corner. Its only family this year, I am not buying for friends! I'd be in overdraft if that were the case, there are so many people to get for. We're having a Secret Santa at work, and the name I pick out the tin just happens to be the largest manager in the office. And I don't mean largest as most important, I mean largest width ways! What on earth do you buy for a ten ton manager??? Why me??
Oh my God, the sun has peeked its head out!!! Wow! This may mean that I have to get myself dressed and go out into the world for the first time in two days!
New Addition
We have a ne
w addition to the family. First, to explain my current living arrangement. I left my house in Reading and my boyfriend on that mad trip to Namibia and when I came back I left my darling house that I loved with all my heart - the first house that I "owned" and the boyfriend and am now living in little Bicester with my sister Hope, her boyfriend Ian, and her daft cat Precious. This cat is not normal, she is touched in the head. I have attached a pic of her - she's very pretty! She is also very protective of her house and her humans and doesn't let any other cats anywhere near either of her items! Now, I have been wanting a kitten for ages as both of my babies were lost in Reading, but the above pic is why I haven't got another one - she is pure evil really.
w addition to the family. First, to explain my current living arrangement. I left my house in Reading and my boyfriend on that mad trip to Namibia and when I came back I left my darling house that I loved with all my heart - the first house that I "owned" and the boyfriend and am now living in little Bicester with my sister Hope, her boyfriend Ian, and her daft cat Precious. This cat is not normal, she is touched in the head. I have attached a pic of her - she's very pretty! She is also very protective of her house and her humans and doesn't let any other cats anywhere near either of her items! Now, I have been wanting a kitten for ages as both of my babies were lost in Reading, but the above pic is why I haven't got another one - she is pure evil really.Well, last Sunday I was at home on the couch with my babe :-( when I got a call from Hope to say "Run to Tesco's, I've found a cat and I need kitten food and milk and a box!" So off I dutifully went, and didn't actually find any of that so I thought that the baby would have to settle for normal food etc until I got to go to the bigger Tesco in town.
Picking up strays is quite normal for my family, we'll never leave an animal out in the cold or if he looks remotely unhappy, and my poor mother had to put up with all kinds for all of our lives, from horses in the kitchen to two dogs giving birth at the same time and landing up with 14 puppies and dogs all in one go, as well as chickens, ducks, cows, sheep, goats etc etc ... It was quite a madhouse really. Animals generally get treated better than humans do in our house.
Anyway! So she arrives with this tiny, scrawny bag of bones wrapped up in her ha
t and scarf - oh, she had taken our nephews to a trout farm in Bibury - and STINKING of fish. The first thing he got was a bath, poor baby. Here's a pic of what he looked like that first day. He is snow white, but at the time was covered in this stinking yellow muck caked all over him, he had mucky eyes full of icky stuff, he was sneezing his head off, scratching his ears, bless his little heart, you have never seen anything so dejected - until he go a sniff at the food and then he couldn't eat fast enough!!!
t and scarf - oh, she had taken our nephews to a trout farm in Bibury - and STINKING of fish. The first thing he got was a bath, poor baby. Here's a pic of what he looked like that first day. He is snow white, but at the time was covered in this stinking yellow muck caked all over him, he had mucky eyes full of icky stuff, he was sneezing his head off, scratching his ears, bless his little heart, you have never seen anything so dejected - until he go a sniff at the food and then he couldn't eat fast enough!!! Well, he ate and ate and ate and hasn't really stopped. He's been to the vet and has all sorts of antibiotics and drops for all his various ailments and has perked up amazingly. He is now looking like a proper kitten, not the bag of bones that you were too scared to pick up as you thought you were going to throw up because of the stink of rotten fish. He now rules the house - Precious, for the first time in her life, seems to have admitted defeat and ISN'T killing him!
Now, he is beautiful, he has almost doubled in size due to hi disgusting habit of eating everything he can. Once we left Precious's food down by mistake and he got to it with no one realising - well, by the time he came out of the kitchen he could hardly walk. He took a few steps, tummy virtually dragging on the ground, then stopped, and plopped down as if there was no possible way he could go on ... we laughed our heads off. He has the run of the house, he plays, he chases Precious and steals her food, and has settled in quite well. My only gripe is that he doesn't like my feather duvet and won't sleep on my bed!!! Gutted man!!
Gone!!!
Well, he's left. And no, instead of bawling my eyes out tucked up in bed with a bottle, the drive was so bad that by the time I got home I was shattered and just passed out.
Oh, I cried at the airport - we've got this thing, because now we're so used to leaving each other behind that when we do it now all we do is a lightning quick hug, even quicker kiss, and we both just turn and walk away. And yes, we both still have to fight back tears. It has got to be the worst feeling ever - and I can never look back to watch him walk away, I just turn and bolt.
The trip to Gatwick was awful - everyone that knows the M40 motorway will know that its absolute hell in rush hour, so instead of being clever and thinking ahead, we left at 5pm to get to Gatwick at 7pm - or that was the plan anyway! Fat chance.
I took my sister Hope with me as I have this fear of driving in the dark - my eye sight is quite bad and I struggle at night - and as she said "Oh, the traffic isn't that bad, we're at least moving!" we came to a grinding halt. I don't know how many miles we travelled at in 1st and 2nd gear, but oh my God, it was awful.
So, we see an exit and think "Hmmm, lets take this, the all-knowing Sat Nav will guide us down a different route" and off we shoot. Only to realise that ha ha the accident is right there on the junction and the motorway after that is clear. So we think "OK, we'll shoot straight over the junction and get back on a clear M40..." Well we did, but it took us half an hour to just get over the damn roundabout - apparently everyone else had the same idea ....
We finally escaped, and caned it down the M40 with an hour to go. And then there was the M25... The M25 doesn't have the name of the biggest car park in the world for nothing. It is four to five lanes of traffic nightmare and people driving like idiots. We battled through most of the M25 in 3rd gear - oh, and please don't forget the fact that it is pissing down with rain and the spray from the car in front is completely blinding. So you can crawl in 3rd gear and see where you're going but miss the flight, or you can put your foot down and hope that you see the car in front braking.
Oh well, we got there, and unfortunately he didn't miss his flight. It took us almost 3 hours and it should have taken and hour and a half.
I sometimes think that saying goodbye isn't the hardest thing to do, its the build up to it. All day I was panicking and upset and then at the airport you know that's it. I cried more that day than I did on the final hug.
So that's it now, he's gone, my life goes back to normal, and I wait for him to come back. So in the meantime I am going to throw myself into 100 other things and keep myself as busy as possible, whether its writing or going out or whatever, I don't care.
But right now, I'm sitting in bed alone, watching the sun come up as I write this - yes, its 08:23 and the sun has been trying to come up for about an hour now - and I am very, very sad.
Oh, I cried at the airport - we've got this thing, because now we're so used to leaving each other behind that when we do it now all we do is a lightning quick hug, even quicker kiss, and we both just turn and walk away. And yes, we both still have to fight back tears. It has got to be the worst feeling ever - and I can never look back to watch him walk away, I just turn and bolt.
The trip to Gatwick was awful - everyone that knows the M40 motorway will know that its absolute hell in rush hour, so instead of being clever and thinking ahead, we left at 5pm to get to Gatwick at 7pm - or that was the plan anyway! Fat chance.
I took my sister Hope with me as I have this fear of driving in the dark - my eye sight is quite bad and I struggle at night - and as she said "Oh, the traffic isn't that bad, we're at least moving!" we came to a grinding halt. I don't know how many miles we travelled at in 1st and 2nd gear, but oh my God, it was awful.
So, we see an exit and think "Hmmm, lets take this, the all-knowing Sat Nav will guide us down a different route" and off we shoot. Only to realise that ha ha the accident is right there on the junction and the motorway after that is clear. So we think "OK, we'll shoot straight over the junction and get back on a clear M40..." Well we did, but it took us half an hour to just get over the damn roundabout - apparently everyone else had the same idea ....
We finally escaped, and caned it down the M40 with an hour to go. And then there was the M25... The M25 doesn't have the name of the biggest car park in the world for nothing. It is four to five lanes of traffic nightmare and people driving like idiots. We battled through most of the M25 in 3rd gear - oh, and please don't forget the fact that it is pissing down with rain and the spray from the car in front is completely blinding. So you can crawl in 3rd gear and see where you're going but miss the flight, or you can put your foot down and hope that you see the car in front braking.
Oh well, we got there, and unfortunately he didn't miss his flight. It took us almost 3 hours and it should have taken and hour and a half.
I sometimes think that saying goodbye isn't the hardest thing to do, its the build up to it. All day I was panicking and upset and then at the airport you know that's it. I cried more that day than I did on the final hug.
So that's it now, he's gone, my life goes back to normal, and I wait for him to come back. So in the meantime I am going to throw myself into 100 other things and keep myself as busy as possible, whether its writing or going out or whatever, I don't care.
But right now, I'm sitting in bed alone, watching the sun come up as I write this - yes, its 08:23 and the sun has been trying to come up for about an hour now - and I am very, very sad.
Almost Goodbye ...
Well this is a sad day for me. As you’re not all up to speed on my life just yet, my boyfriend is not yet in this country. We originally met the first time I flew out of the UK to Namibia – well, we knew each other 10 years ago as childhood sweethearts you might possibly call us – so in my earlier blog when I said I was fed up with my life and relationship, in a mad strop I got on a plane to go see this bloke that I hadn’t seen in ten years.
Long, dramatic, eventful story later, I have been out there 3 times this year and he is planning on moving here to spend the next two years with me until we both move back to Namibia together. Anyway, so he came out here for a month to rescue the tatters of our long distance relationship – if anyone out there has done the long distance thing, don’t you all agree it is just rubbish??????
So he’s been here for a month. Tomorrow he flies back, and right now we don’t have any idea how long this next leg is going to take before everything is finalised and he can fly out permanently. I’m gutted. I stress easily as it is, and this is just driving me over the edge! So when I don’t add anything onto my blog tomorrow, just think of me at home bawling my eyes out, soggy tissues strewn across my bed, and a LARGE bottle of wine in my hand …
Ok, maybe that’s over exaggerating, I imagine I will cringe at the thought of being home alone and run to a mates place to drown my sorrows with a bottle of Bacardi. I will fill you in on the hangover on Saturday lol!
But apart from all that, the bottom line is I do not want him to go. Why are women so paranoid and over sensitive about everything? Why do we read so much into things that don’t actually mean a lot? And why is trusting someone so very difficult? I have gotten so used to waking up next to him in the morning, meeting him for lunch, and doing things together, silly little things like cooking dinner even!
Well, so over the next couple of weeks, or God knows how long until he gets back, I will be very down and boring … 6000 miles is a very long way away, and I am already dreading the astronomical bill my delighted mobile phone company are going to slap on me after this time away from each other. I’m going to paying them back for the rest of my life!
So, I will not be at work tomorrow, I will be spending my last few hours with my angel, and hoping that the hours drag, but unfortunately they won’t. So before I know it, I will be driving to the airport and saying goodbye to him, and neither of us know how long we will be apart this time around.
Long, dramatic, eventful story later, I have been out there 3 times this year and he is planning on moving here to spend the next two years with me until we both move back to Namibia together. Anyway, so he came out here for a month to rescue the tatters of our long distance relationship – if anyone out there has done the long distance thing, don’t you all agree it is just rubbish??????
So he’s been here for a month. Tomorrow he flies back, and right now we don’t have any idea how long this next leg is going to take before everything is finalised and he can fly out permanently. I’m gutted. I stress easily as it is, and this is just driving me over the edge! So when I don’t add anything onto my blog tomorrow, just think of me at home bawling my eyes out, soggy tissues strewn across my bed, and a LARGE bottle of wine in my hand …
Ok, maybe that’s over exaggerating, I imagine I will cringe at the thought of being home alone and run to a mates place to drown my sorrows with a bottle of Bacardi. I will fill you in on the hangover on Saturday lol!
But apart from all that, the bottom line is I do not want him to go. Why are women so paranoid and over sensitive about everything? Why do we read so much into things that don’t actually mean a lot? And why is trusting someone so very difficult? I have gotten so used to waking up next to him in the morning, meeting him for lunch, and doing things together, silly little things like cooking dinner even!
Well, so over the next couple of weeks, or God knows how long until he gets back, I will be very down and boring … 6000 miles is a very long way away, and I am already dreading the astronomical bill my delighted mobile phone company are going to slap on me after this time away from each other. I’m going to paying them back for the rest of my life!
So, I will not be at work tomorrow, I will be spending my last few hours with my angel, and hoping that the hours drag, but unfortunately they won’t. So before I know it, I will be driving to the airport and saying goodbye to him, and neither of us know how long we will be apart this time around.
Well, I have 15 minutes left of my working day, and when that clock strikes 5:30 I will be running out the door for a much needed drink! And not because it has been a hectic busy day – in a way I wish it had been – but no, simply because my butt is totally sick of this dam chair. The day has dragged as I am very quiet at work at the moment, and that is worse than being manic and having 100 people screaming at you.
My job – well, at the moment, I really want to leave. I work for Nissan Press, managing their fleet of cars that go out to journalists and TV programmes and stuff like that, so yes, we have some “famous” cars on site, but I have to admit, the job really sounds a lot more glamorous than it is! Don’t be fooled by the fact that I have the Long Way Down Patrol sitting outside the door and the keys in my desk drawer … No, it’s a vicious slog here at the moment and I am dying to get out there and fin myself a job where I can be creative and come away from work at the end of the day feeling like I have really accomplished something.
Is there such a job?? Really?? Please, someone give me the secret of finding the perfect job!
Well, I have an idea what that job is yet, this is the reason why in two years time I may be moving back to Africa, but that is a whole TWO YEARS AWAY!!!!!!! TWO YEARS! Right now that feels like a lifetime and I don’t like the idea.
So, should I toss my life and family and friends to the wind in the UK and go back to Africa? Well, this choice is going to take a lot more thinking about than a simple quick decision, but I am seriously contemplating it. As I am unfortunately not British by birth I don’t have the fabulous British passport either, which is depressing, but hey, I’m pretty sure I can get around that! Still thinking…
Ok, its taken me 7 minutes to write this, I need to post it and then start closing down so I can bolt out that door at 5:30pm!!!
My job – well, at the moment, I really want to leave. I work for Nissan Press, managing their fleet of cars that go out to journalists and TV programmes and stuff like that, so yes, we have some “famous” cars on site, but I have to admit, the job really sounds a lot more glamorous than it is! Don’t be fooled by the fact that I have the Long Way Down Patrol sitting outside the door and the keys in my desk drawer … No, it’s a vicious slog here at the moment and I am dying to get out there and fin myself a job where I can be creative and come away from work at the end of the day feeling like I have really accomplished something.
Is there such a job?? Really?? Please, someone give me the secret of finding the perfect job!
Well, I have an idea what that job is yet, this is the reason why in two years time I may be moving back to Africa, but that is a whole TWO YEARS AWAY!!!!!!! TWO YEARS! Right now that feels like a lifetime and I don’t like the idea.
So, should I toss my life and family and friends to the wind in the UK and go back to Africa? Well, this choice is going to take a lot more thinking about than a simple quick decision, but I am seriously contemplating it. As I am unfortunately not British by birth I don’t have the fabulous British passport either, which is depressing, but hey, I’m pretty sure I can get around that! Still thinking…
Ok, its taken me 7 minutes to write this, I need to post it and then start closing down so I can bolt out that door at 5:30pm!!!
Holiday!!!
Ok, get this, I started this blog in March - yes MARCH 2007 - and have never finished it. So, I have again been bitten by the “blog bug” along with a friend of mine, and here I am!!! So this particular post I started back in March, have a read: (problem is, I didn’t finish it so it ends abruptly, sorry … )
Well, I have recently had some stress in my life. Unemployment and unhappiness can make you do crazy things, so on the spur of a moment two weeks ago, at ten to five on a Tuesday afternoon I booked a plane ticket to Namibia - to fly the following afternoon.
I hadn't seen any of the people there in at least eight years, had only spoken to them on the internet, and so that Tuesday evening as I ran around like crazy packing and trying to organise my life, it seemed so surreal. I hardly slept that night, all these crazy things going through my head, like "What are you doing? You could be going to visit a mass murderer ... "
Well, maybe not that bad lol, but my Mum was in a flat panic, and I can only imagine what was going through her head! She did mention to me at one point that my darling older brother had flatly said that she shouldn't allow me to go. My Mum did have to point out that she could hardly tell her twenty-four year old daughter to go to her room and stay there ...
So the next day, I got on a train at Wokingham Station, leaving my life, my boyfriend and my family behind me. I got told to go off on holiday, sort my head out and for once not to worry about anyone else. I think I may have taken this a little too literally!
I sat on that train on my way to Gatwick Airport, realising that for the first time in eight years I was doing something completely on my own, something completely crazy, and I absolutely loved it. I cannot explain the feeling. I have come to the conclusion that people forget to live, and doing crazy things makes you feel like you're living.
Well, I had a ten hour flight to Windhoek, and I didn't sleep at all. I had a window seat, so that was all very well and good, until the girl next to me took a sleeping tablet and passed out and I couldn't move for the rest of the trip as every time I did I had to climb over her, which isn't particularly easy in economy when you hardly have room to move at the best of times anyway lol. I plugged in the old iPod, and ran the batteries flat for the rest of the night.
At some point, I opened the little window thingy next to me to see what was going on outside, and got to see the most amazing sight ever. I don't think I will ever forget that sight.
…
And that is as far as I got, sorry! I think I have lost the whole enthusiasm for this particular blog, but I do remember what I saw looking out of that plane window that night. We were flying over the clouds, and below they looked just like the purest and most beautiful cotton wool, and then hanging right over us, looking close enough to touch, was the Milky Way. I sat there and stared for hours, the only way I can explain it is that when you have moments like that you really feel closer to God.
Well anyway, maybe one day I will feel like elaborating on my holiday and what happened, but that time isn’t now. My life did however, change completely, I left my boyfriend, moved away from Reading, got a new job, the works, so I am still convinced that doing that simple crazy thing was one of the best things that I have ever done in my life. It hasn’t been easy, but that’s not always bad.
So, now that I am living in a different place, have a different job, have a new boyfriend, and a whole new life plan, I will get back into writing again!
Well, I have recently had some stress in my life. Unemployment and unhappiness can make you do crazy things, so on the spur of a moment two weeks ago, at ten to five on a Tuesday afternoon I booked a plane ticket to Namibia - to fly the following afternoon.
I hadn't seen any of the people there in at least eight years, had only spoken to them on the internet, and so that Tuesday evening as I ran around like crazy packing and trying to organise my life, it seemed so surreal. I hardly slept that night, all these crazy things going through my head, like "What are you doing? You could be going to visit a mass murderer ... "
Well, maybe not that bad lol, but my Mum was in a flat panic, and I can only imagine what was going through her head! She did mention to me at one point that my darling older brother had flatly said that she shouldn't allow me to go. My Mum did have to point out that she could hardly tell her twenty-four year old daughter to go to her room and stay there ...
So the next day, I got on a train at Wokingham Station, leaving my life, my boyfriend and my family behind me. I got told to go off on holiday, sort my head out and for once not to worry about anyone else. I think I may have taken this a little too literally!
I sat on that train on my way to Gatwick Airport, realising that for the first time in eight years I was doing something completely on my own, something completely crazy, and I absolutely loved it. I cannot explain the feeling. I have come to the conclusion that people forget to live, and doing crazy things makes you feel like you're living.
Well, I had a ten hour flight to Windhoek, and I didn't sleep at all. I had a window seat, so that was all very well and good, until the girl next to me took a sleeping tablet and passed out and I couldn't move for the rest of the trip as every time I did I had to climb over her, which isn't particularly easy in economy when you hardly have room to move at the best of times anyway lol. I plugged in the old iPod, and ran the batteries flat for the rest of the night.
At some point, I opened the little window thingy next to me to see what was going on outside, and got to see the most amazing sight ever. I don't think I will ever forget that sight.
…
And that is as far as I got, sorry! I think I have lost the whole enthusiasm for this particular blog, but I do remember what I saw looking out of that plane window that night. We were flying over the clouds, and below they looked just like the purest and most beautiful cotton wool, and then hanging right over us, looking close enough to touch, was the Milky Way. I sat there and stared for hours, the only way I can explain it is that when you have moments like that you really feel closer to God.
Well anyway, maybe one day I will feel like elaborating on my holiday and what happened, but that time isn’t now. My life did however, change completely, I left my boyfriend, moved away from Reading, got a new job, the works, so I am still convinced that doing that simple crazy thing was one of the best things that I have ever done in my life. It hasn’t been easy, but that’s not always bad.
So, now that I am living in a different place, have a different job, have a new boyfriend, and a whole new life plan, I will get back into writing again!
Snowy England
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Well, talk about freezing! I have been in the UK now for almost 5 years and this is the worst snow I have seen, it is amazing!
If you are one of those people that when you see snow it just makes you feel like you have stepped into another world, then you will understand how I felt when I jumped up this morning and in my half asleep state, tripping over everything on my way to the window with my hair on end, pulled back the curtains to gasp in awe at the site from my window.
I felt like I imagine my 5 year old nephew would as I dragged on my clothes, still tripping over things as I am as blind as a bat without my lenses in, spent a frustrating couple of minutes trying to find my glasses, and when I couldn't find them - due to being extremely short sighted - I had to battle with getting the lenses back in.
I felt like I imagine my 5 year old nephew would as I dragged on my clothes, still tripping over things as I am as blind as a bat without my lenses in, spent a frustrating couple of minutes trying to find my glasses, and when I couldn't find them - due to being extremely short sighted - I had to battle with getting the lenses back in.
I eventually got myself out the front door with my new expensive digital camera, only to have me feet slip out from underneath me and to land on my butt in three inches of snow. Jumping up fast is really not an option, so I had to gently raise myself off the ground, discovering that denim doesn't really keep the snow out. I then had to endure the postman laughing his head off at me and running over my front lawn and leaving footprints in my perfect snow! He thought he was being helpful I expect. .jpg)
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I looked up to discover my car had turned into a snow cone overnight. I thanked the Lord that I am currently unemployed and had no reason to scrape the snow off my car and go to work. Instead, I got to gently walk around in the beautiful winter world, nursing sore and wet buttocks. I took some beautiful pics of the neighbourhood, totally in awe.
After half an hour my feet were soaking, as being South African, I had never used or considered buying this useful footwear. I imagine I looked like a complete moron to anyone else in the area with my camera gawking at trees.
I made my way back through my front door as I couldn't get in my back gate as the snow was piled up against it and I didn't want to disturb it! How sad!
Made myself a cup of coffee and was staring out the study window, taking a break from writing this blog, when I discovered my neighbours behind me were making a snowman in their back yard, so I downed coffee, cigarette and computer, wrapped myself up again and jumped back out there to help them. 
This was our result!! Isn't he cute? We couldn't find buttons or a mouth for him, but nevermind, if he is still standing tomorrow we'll add them on. He's even got a cup of tea! After all of our hard work, we went back inside, drank loads of coffee and smoked too many cigarettes, and then I eventually had to make my way home through the melting snow, still using my front door mind you, as the back garden is still perfect and undisturbed.
Well, its now lunch and the snow is beginning to thaw. Its all over for probably another year, and who knows if it will be as thick and fluffy as it has been now. The beautiful winter world is turning into muddy slush as I write. By tomorrow morning there will be ice all over the roads and I'll be skating on my front path - hopefully not on my butt this time.
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