I don't want to grow up and have kids ...

Said my four year old nephew, Aaron, whilst actually throwing a tantrum about it, bless his little heart. This came via the IM chat service that my Mother and I use to communicate, and had me laughing my head off. I have to admit, I agree with him fully! I am just not allowed to throw a tantrum about it ....

And honestly, going along the kids line - Bear is frigging hard work. What the hell am I going to do with kids?? I can't exactly lock them in the garage and leave them there whilst I go out and do everything that I have to do, or chuck them in the back of the car and leave them to hang their tongue out the window.

Bear is high maintenance, and it seems that in his little Husky world, I am not the Alpha as I had planned to be. Pio has taken that role. Man am I pissed! How did this happen? He chews me to death, I look like I am self-harming because my hands are covered in little bleeding scratches from his amazingly sharp teeth. I swear one of these nights I am going to lose a mouthfull of hair to him and have to walk around with a bald patch, the size depending on how much he could fit into his mouth without me noticing, before bailing full speed in the opposite direction with it all in his mouth. I am also going to lose a large number of clothes and shoes as he takes great delight in trying to rip them apart, and in a few weeks time, he is going to have the jaws to do it!

Last night, after Pio and Gustav kept me up until gone 3am the previous morning - this resulting in a migraine - and then I had to go to work, got home early as I decided to finish there permanently, and then got stuck into cleaning the house. I didn't sleep at all, and so last night I bombed out not long after 9pm. I slept dead, so heaven only knows how Bear abused me during the night as I think you could have dropped a nuke next to me and I wouldn't have known it. I haven't looked in the mirror yet so am not sure if I am missing an ear or am covered in teeth marks, but will find out soon enough. 

I woke up just before 7am, only for him to twig that I was awake, and instantly begin chewing me, whilst Nala gazed at me soulfully from beneath the chair, too scared to come out, and Zazu began killing the furniture. They know that this always wakes me and then results in them getting fed - the ultimate aim of the game for them. Whilst I lay there wanting desperately to go back to sleep, trying to hide from Bear's razor teeth, thinking that I needed to take him out for a pee ...

He jumped off the bed, emptied his bladder on the tiles that I spent almost the entire day yesterday scrubbing by hand, walked through it, and jumped back into bed with me leaving little pee pawprints across my clean sheets ... Typical, and so served me right for not jumping up and taking him outside.He must have held it all night bless him - it was the hugest pee you have ever seen out of something so small - I think his bladder had taken over his stomach as I really don't understand where all that liquid came from.

Well, that did the trick, I was up and feeding them all of 1 minute later, and taking them all outside with a cup of coffee to play in the garden.

OK, so Bear was officially easier to train than a child. As long as we stick to routine, he does his number two's outside on the grass, and is so good about it whenever we go out there he at least tries to do one even if he doesn't need to. And a lot quicker - three days of routine and he was fine, no more messing inside until yesterday, when he went twice on the floor. Why??? He was being so good! So, with that in mind, now that I am home again, it doesn't seem as if pee-training will take long either.

So yes, officially easier than a child, but hard enough to make me 100% positive that I do not want a child for a very, very long time yet. I mean seriously, one night of fun, 9 months of being fat, and eighteen years of hell before you can get rid of them temporarily, and hope that they don't continue to sponge off you and make your life difficult for the rest of your life ... oh yeah, that sounds like so much fun, I want to get started right now ... Ha bloody ha!

Give me animals any day of the week.