Write Write Write

    So, in 2013, Frankie introduced me to All About Writing, and I did the Creative Writing Course. It took a few months if I remember correctly, and was great fun - after the panic of criticism had subsided. The mentors were lovely; gently critical and full of advice and explanations, and giving credit where credit was due. They built our confidence as we went. 

    Then, I decided to join the mentoring. I'd written a lot from a young age, but never tried to publish - apart from submitting a disaster to Pan Macmillan in 2011. I can clearly see now why they never read it :). With the mentoring, we submitted a word count each month, and our delightful mentors critted and advised. 

    The first book I worked through with them was the story of Aiden, a young druggie whose girlfriend dumped two kinds on him and disappeared. The story of his youth suddenly taken away, his reform, and growing to love these two little girls as his own, grew massively as we worked through it. It changed multiple times. Then, the girlfriend re-appears and takes his girls from him, and how his life falls apart again. 

    It took me almost three years to work through this one, as we navigated legalities, opinions, characters, and disasters. It was wonderful - although by almost the end of the second draft, I was so gatvol of it, I wanted to throw it in the bin. I persevered, and finished it. I still feel I want to throw it in the bin - but I think that this comes from TOO MUCH of it. Too much reading, writing, and editing of the same thing and characters. I got bored of the, basically.

    But to explain the trials and tribulations of writing and being criticised ... not easy. Frankie and I would read the feedback and rant. How dare they say I must remove that - it's an integral part of the book (how Aiden went out, got smashed, and crashed his truck). Devastation, and then the slow realisation that it really didn't take the story forward. 

    How DARE they not like that beautiful sentence ... so much time was taken with it. So much feeling. And then again, the realisation that it was pretty pointless, and I'd phrased the same thing slightly differently in another paragraph earlier or later on.

    Then, with time, we learned to see what they saw. And we loved it. We couldn't wait for our feedback, or for comments from the other mentees on the group. It was fabulous - my fix, after a coffee and a cigarette. 

    I shelved it after the end of the second draft. 

    Then, out of the blue, one of my mentors emailed me and said she had referred me and a couple of others to Jacana, who were looking for new, South African writers with potential. Panic stations. Totally. 

    I waited and waited, and eventually they contacted me. After having my nerves calm slightly with the wait, panic rose again. I still struggle to talk about my work, and generally avoid it. If someone asks me about it, I say, "Read it." Only in the last two weeks did I actually tell someone what it was about, in a single sentence ... and then redirected the conversation sharply lol. So what would I do with a publisher that needed to know the deeper aspects of the book? 

    Well, in short, we set up a Skype, and then they had a work emergency and couldn't do it that day :(. What a let down .... 

    But, if its meant to be it will be. I'll wait. If I find somewhere else that I fancy submitting to, I will. If not, then I won't. I'm not in a hurry. Aiden can sit on the shelf for a time, until I'm ready to do a third draft. Life happens when its meant to. 

    And for the moment, I have yet another book written while I was a teenager (for many reasons, I stopped writing. Creativity dried up.) and will continue with that one. I have submitted the first three chapters already, and have gotten positive feedback from my mentors and fellow writers, so it has hope.

    And for the moment, I'll just WRITE. With no pressure and no expectations, but just for the joy of it.