It's been a while...

It has been a while since I last blogged - again. Its' amazing how life gets so busy that we don't get to the little things that we love doing and they get left by the way side. 

Everything has sort of flown out the window lately. I was diagnosed with bipolar and medicated for it, but its taking time to sort out the medication and to get used to living on meds. Its not an easy adjustment and although the first few months were bliss, it seems like they are now wearing off and life is becoming a little more difficult to deal with again. Its time to go back to the doc and speak to him again about everything, but its so expensive that it really has to be thought through properly. 

I am still writing, and that is going really well. Its the only thing that I have managed to keep on top of, and I think its because I have a deadline to work to and other people in my group, so its a really motivating factor in my life. I am getting good feedback from the others and its such a creative release, so look forward to it and am ahead in my submissions now. Let's hope that the latest feedback is good. I also managed to work through everything that I have submitted and create a master copy, so hopefully I can keep adding to that and have my final draft when I am done with everything, although it will take time to get that far. I'm hoping that I will have the money to carry on with it in July. 

Other than that, I have stopped writing in my diary as I think that my life isn't interesting enough to even keep track of, and started drinking and smoking again, so its all gone out the window and I am disgusted with myself. It's very hard to have kept up with everything and to not keep cheating. I must find the courage to start again though, as I can't carry on like this, it's not what I want out of life. But we will get there again, and hopefully stop using the excuse of not putting so much pressure on myself to do everything; but I'm pretty sure that its just an excuse. I'm too tired and lazy to keep up with everything and I blame it on the meds and the bipolar and am hoping I come out of my funk really soon. 

The Plot is becoming a burden as well, because we don't have the money to renovate and its becoming a plague! We still walk every evening, so we enjoy that with the dogs and with the sunsets, but winter is now setting in and it gets dark really early. We're hoping that if we can sell the Swakop house that we will have some money to push in, but there are no bites on that at the moment and its leaving us with a big worry that we will be stuck with it standing empty and not rented out or sold. Its going to cost a lot of money that we don't have, so its panic stations all round. Not much we can do about it though, just keep plodding and pray that something comes up and that we have the money to keep it going. We are in a bit of a financial bind at the moment - maybe I can make a sale and have enough money to carry us for a month or two again. 

So nothing happy really - I sound like I am just grumping and everything is miserable, which it isn't I suppose, but it probably just feels like it at the moment. Oh well, got to go do some work so will stop my miserable moan and get back to it!