Returning to Normality

Well ... I've been away some time. I flew to Namibia at the last minute, as I seem to do every time, on the 21st of December, and spent two weeks there. Very nearly didn't come back!! We spent a couple of days in Windhoek, drove to Omaruru and spent three days there, then hit the long road North - all 1000 odd km's of it! What a trip, my ass was so sore. But how amazing! Its been many years since I last drove that road, and it was honestly amazing. The road just goes on and on, you can see for miles ahead of you and it ust never seems to end.

The heat was so intense. We left at 6:30am from Omaruru and hit the road in a crappy old Golf that completely amazed me by actually making it there and back! We hit Rundu at around lunch, bought some new windscreen wipers, and carried on into the Caprivi. As we drove North, it just got greener all the way, and by the time we were in the Caprivi it was just beautiful. When we hit the first rain the stifling heat just turned to a cool breeze that was so refreshing after driving so far in such heat. We wouldn't have guessed it as going to rain non stop for the next week that we spent there (its apparently still raining!!)

Arriving at the lodge after sitting down for 10 hours was such a relief, and the first thing we did was sit out on the deck and have a much needed drink! I got to meet my angel's Mum, which was not half as bad as I expected. It is funny how we make so much out of these things when they really are not scary at all! Anyway, this is the view we had as we sat out on the deck:

Hippo Lodge is a very beautiful place, and we spent just over a week there. Unfortunately it rained for most of this time, so getting a tan was out of the question, but I did really relax and spend some time with P and his family, which was actually very nice. As we will one day be moving to the lodge, it was good to see the place again and learn a bit more abouthow its managed and start getting ideas together for how it can be improved. The last time I was on the lodge was nine years ago, so my memory wasn't all up to scratch!!

We had a fabulous New Year - it wasn't big or expensive, we just had a lot of people from the town, arrive through out the night, we danced and drank and had a good laugh. I met some really lovely people and thoroughly enjoyed myself. We drank an awful lot, and after only just recovering the following day, we had some more friends arrive, and the drinking started again ... I have to add they didn't stay long as I really would have died if I caried on drinking!

We left a couple of days later, returning to Windhoek via Omaruru again. It just got sadder and sadder as I said goodbyes to more and more people - I absolutely hated leaving. The last two days spent in Windhoek we stayed with friends and worked on the house (for those that don't know I bought a house in Windhoek) as that really needed to be rented and tried to spend as much time as we could together. It was just a nightmare, the day I left I started crying that morning already, such a hopeless case!

Afer sitting with that awful dread on my shoulders all day, leaving was just murder. I cried again, but again just turned around and walked off, I couldn't look back. And then, the bloody government is so considerate, they really don't take this kind of scenario into account - you have to stand there and fill out forms before you can go through to departures!! I hated every second of it, kind of like forcing yourself to go through the motions when everything in you just wants to go the other way.

I got on the plane, and I still wish I hadn't. I sat on the plane and cried - people around me must have thought I was a complete nutter! It wa so hard getting on that plane and leaving him, it really was so hard. I could so easily have turned around and walked away from it and never looked back on England and life here.

3BT

Three Beautiful Things for today ... (really struggling with this today!)

1. My car was not frozen solid this morning - Yay!

2. Alicia and I bought some mad crazy Christmas hats to wear in the office - I now have a bright red cowboy hat with white feather trim sitting on my desk! lol

3. Terry gave me a bottle of wine and a Christmas kiss! He's a honey.

Daily News ...

Well yesterday was a rubbish day and today is shaping up to be pretty much the same! So much for Christmas spirit!

Today, I am so quiet at work that I actually have NOTHING to do and am sitting at my desk twiddling my thumbs and trying to think up ways to pass the day! Wish my life away! I have done a few bits and pieces and ma now trawling the net in search of cheap flights – at Christmas?? What a laugh! The airlines have doubled their already ridiculous prices, and I am now facing a bleak Christmas and New Year in England. It’s so cold L …

Hey, I know this is my own fault due to the fact that I NEVER plan ahead! But hey, if you were stuck in a different country to your boyfriend, wouldn’t you like to try and join him?? So, my dilemma at this moment, is waste a huge amount of money, get into debt, BUT get to spend the time with my favourite person … I think I’m going to waste a HUGE amount of money and go …

This also means that I will be able to catch some sun and have two weeks away from my hectic life at the minute, and instead of fighting with my boyfriend because we have spent 8 weeks together out of 9 months, we’ll actually be talking to each other, so that is a bonus as well!

Apart from that, I am sitting in my office, waiting for Terry to arrive from London, for the final Press Review of the year. We do this once a month, and unfortunately this year seems to be ending on a low note as we are having problems with one of our specialist cars. Terry will be arriving just after 2pm, and I’ll be at lunch between 1 and 2, so that should keep me busy.

So, I will let you know when I make my decision on whether I will be having a warm Christmas or a cold one!

Monday Blues ...

Monday. Sigh.

BUT: I have discovered a new and positive way to try and drag myself out of my nasty state of wanting to hibernate and tell the rest of the world to sod off! Its called 3BT - please note the link to a Blog on your right side of the page called "Three Beautiful Things".

3BT is about naming three things each day that you find beautiful. OK, so because I am such a miserable sod at the minute, thinking of these things does at first seem a little more difficult. I sat at work thinking "What is so bloody nice about this place??" really in a right grump. But now that I think of it, there are things every day that you can really take to heart and think, those little things made my day.

So for today, here are my Three Beautiful Things:

* I won an argument with my exec - Scrooge! (OK, that was evil, but it made me grin!)

* I saw the most beautiful little kitten that needs a home, and I fell in love with him!

* And maybe most importantly, after spending a large part of the last week arguing with my boyfriend, on the end of a message, I got an "I love you".

Scrooge & Christmas Cheer ...

To paint the picture of all of you, I work in quite a big office, there are about 50 of us, dotted across the room in little groups of 4 and 6 as we are split into our various teams. So unfortunately I am in the middle of the room, so when I am as totally bored as I am today, I can’t even surf the internet in peace as I have about 25 people sitting behind me.

Anyway! Now that it is Christmas, the people that are in the cheery Christmas mood have strung up all sorts of gaudy decorations to brighten the office and make it as tacky as possible. We have the most awful tree that should have been burnt about 10 years ago, that is hung with the worst and completely mismatched baubles and strings of cast off tinsel from someone’s house. It does have lights on it though – I am still wondering which skinflint in the office decided to give those treasures up!

So, with all this Christmas cheer all around us, I am quite sad to admit that my little set of 4 desks – the Nissan live fleet team – is the only desks in the office that have NO DECORATIONS. None. Nada. Niks! This is partly because out exec is a mean spirited Scrooge that has told us we can put up minimal decorations, nothing is allowed to hang from the ceiling and we are not to offend our religious colleague. My religious colleague has said that he won’t be offended as he does not celebrate and we can do what we like. So, now that this argument has gone on for over a week, and we are finally given the go ahead, Alicia and I cannot find any flipping decorations to put up!!! Murphy’s bloody law.

We have been to town three times this week alone looking for a little tree, or something that we can use to brighten our desks, that will not offend either the Scrooge or my religious colleague. I fully understand religion and accept it and don’t have any issue with what he believes, however, Scrooge sits there at his desk discussing with us how much his Christmas presents have cost him and in practically the same breath says that he does not celebrate!
I cannot believe that I am working with the reincarnation of Scrooge himself.

Enough complaining about him – back to the point!! The only tree that we could find was a fluffy pink feather one in WH Smith and neither of us were quite into that. So in the whole town, there seems to be a huge shortage of baby Christmas trees. So, I have now hit on a new plan and will possibly go to a nursery over the weekend and buy a real one. Then I can use it every year and when it’s not parked on my desk being pretty with decorations it can either be a bit of greenery for the office or I can take it home and stick it outside the back door.

And tomorrow we get to go for a Christmas meal and a tipple with some of the people from work. We’re going to an Italian for dinner and drinks and will then hit the town if we so fancy. As someone else has just bought out our company, we have not had the normal Christmas Party for the entire company that includes the roast turkey dinner and all the trimmings, so we have settled for the Italian with a few people that are fairly close in our teams – please note that Scrooge has not been invited …

I will update you all on the hangover on Sunday morning ...

Life

I've realised today that life is super odd - only now?? You might say - Yes. Only now.




The people that you love the most you are the rudest to - the people that you dislike you're normally wonderfully polite to even though all the while you're contemplating on what the heaviest object is that you can hit them with ... Even your work colleagues normally get more respect than a family member.





So why do we do this?? Why do we push the ones that we love away? Why gather people around you that you don't really care about, and the ones that you do care for deeply get the tongue lashing of their lives when there is trouble in your life?





Maybe its just because you're not meant to be. Maybe its because you still have some lessons to learn in life, and if those people aren't strong enough to teach you that lesson they will fall by the wayside and never be forgotten, but they will be replaced.





So when is the time to give up and try move on - or is there ever a time to give up? Do you keep fighting although things never change?

Losing a Friend

Today I lost a friend.

I hadn't known him very long, but he crept into my heart in his short little stay with us and now he has gone he has left a very big hole in a surprisingly small place.

Kai had to be put to sleep today. He hadn't ever gotten over his cold, and on his third visit to the vet today they discovered that he had feline AIDS. There was no alternative, so he went to sleep. Just a few months old.

For something so small, the house is now surprisingly empty and quiet. There's no laughing at his ridiculous antics as he tore around the house clawing the furniture and everything else, there's no yowling for food every time you go into the kitchen, there's no calling for and teasing him to play,and somehow, worst of all, there's no impossible little furry thing sitting on my keyboard trying to chase the keys as I type.

I looked for him when I got home tonight, just almost kind of expecting him to come waddling around the corner dragging his belly cos he'd eaten too much again.

Its silly getting attached to something so little in such a short time. Its just heart breaking that he was constantly so happy and yet so sick, and had to go so young.

Christmas!!

We put the tree up tonight. I use the term "we" lightly, I got home late and so only watched while I cooked dinner! It was quite fun actually, Hope and Ian went all out for it, from the Christmas carols in the background to a glass of port each whilst they strung lights in the window and on the tree - and there's even a mini fibre optic tree in the dining room window!

Here's a pic of the tree almost done - and then Ian got hold of it ... it's now smothered in tinsel

which caused all manner of arguments between he and Hope! I laughed, had to.

The tree is now perilously balanced on a box as its not tall enough for the mound of presents that have to go under it, so I really am expecting Kai to get carried away and lunge at a sparkling piece of tinsel with enthusiastic joy ... this will result in a 6 foot tree landing on his head and waking up the whole house giving us all a heart attack - it has to happen at night when we least expect it I reckon!

Anyway, I am going to start piling my presents underneath it as they are starting to take over my teeny room at the moment, which is a bit early, but hey, looks all the more festive!

Today at work all the decorations in the office went up as well, so it is really starting to feel like Christmas now - the office looks really festive and each department has all their own decorations up - confession, my desk is the only one that doesn't have any decorations because one of us is a Jehovah Witness and the other is a boring sod that doesn't like Christmas! Alicia and I went shopping today to look for a mini tree to put between us and couldn't find one, so we may just have to get through on everyone elses cheer and goodwill!

I also managed to get my Secret Santa gift - shoot me for being boring here, but hey, have been thinking very very hard and have not come up with anything! So, I bought a 2008 Diary and Year Planner thingy by the Me to You bears - probably not the right thing for a middle aged woman but hey, I tried!! I might go get some chocolates and add them to it to make myself feel better!

Well, its Christmas now. Time to eat too much, drink too much, waste too much money, have too much fun, and embarrass yourself at the work Christmas do! And then there's all the rest that goes with it, family and friends and realising how much they all mean to you. So its also time to say your sorry's, make up fights, and tell the people closest to you just how much they mean!

The Weekend

Well gosh, the week has flown by and bow so has the weekend! Yes, its still only Sunday morning, but I know that I won't be moving from the couch and the position that I am in for the rest of the day. Its raining outside, has been for days now and will still continue for days, so England has much to look forward to! So outside its dull and grey, the clouds hanging low, and inside its nice and warm and I have Kai attacking my toes and Precious glaring at me from the other couch because I am daring to play with him. The TV is on E4 Music for some reason, it was there when I turned it on so I left it and so I got to hear Backstreet Boys new song, Inconsolable!!! Who would have thought they would make a return along with the other aging "boybands" - should we call them ManBands now?? they are getting on - and actually make it!!

I remember when Take That returned on the scene and what a ruckus they caused! One of the girls that I worked with loved them with continuing teenage adoration and bought a load of tickets to one of their concerts for everyone in the office. I kindly refrained her offer of a ticket! Anyway, off they went, came back dreamy-eyed and raving about it the following day, and Gem had actually touched Gary Barlow's hand! She was ecstatic bless her heart. I have to admit though, I quite like the new song by Backstreet Boys! And I love the new song by Take That - look at me, can't remember the name! - from the soundtrack of Stardust!

Anyway, back to whatever it was we were going on about! I am trying to type and keep getting interrupted by Kai and Precious. Kai, I have to admit, does tend to interrupt a little more that Precious does, and has actually tried to add his two cents worth into my blog - have a look at this pic!! He has re-arranged my desktop and changed the layout of my internet explorer already. I keep getting moaned at for letting him jump on an expensive piece of equipment but I can't help it, he makes me laugh.

Well, I have no other news really. It has been a quiet week, and I have really perfected the art of looking super busy at work and doing nothing. I don't think that I will be that fortunate again this week, it will get busy again for the build up to Christmas.

I do have a couple of decisions to make that came up over the weekend as I have been talking to my boyfriend who is still in Namibia. Things are not as straight forward as they seem unfortunately and I may have to make the decision between my relationship and acquiring my British passport which I have already been waiting almost 6 years for. And right at Christmas time too!!!

I wrapped all my presents yesterday, they're all piled up in a corner. Its only family this year, I am not buying for friends! I'd be in overdraft if that were the case, there are so many people to get for. We're having a Secret Santa at work, and the name I pick out the tin just happens to be the largest manager in the office. And I don't mean largest as most important, I mean largest width ways! What on earth do you buy for a ten ton manager??? Why me??

Oh my God, the sun has peeked its head out!!! Wow! This may mean that I have to get myself dressed and go out into the world for the first time in two days!

New Addition

We have a new addition to the family. First, to explain my current living arrangement. I left my house in Reading and my boyfriend on that mad trip to Namibia and when I came back I left my darling house that I loved with all my heart - the first house that I "owned" and the boyfriend and am now living in little Bicester with my sister Hope, her boyfriend Ian, and her daft cat Precious. This cat is not normal, she is touched in the head. I have attached a pic of her - she's very pretty! She is also very protective of her house and her humans and doesn't let any other cats anywhere near either of her items! Now, I have been wanting a kitten for ages as both of my babies were lost in Reading, but the above pic is why I haven't got another one - she is pure evil really.

Well, last Sunday I was at home on the couch with my babe :-( when I got a call from Hope to say "Run to Tesco's, I've found a cat and I need kitten food and milk and a box!" So off I dutifully went, and didn't actually find any of that so I thought that the baby would have to settle for normal food etc until I got to go to the bigger Tesco in town.

Picking up strays is quite normal for my family, we'll never leave an animal out in the cold or if he looks remotely unhappy, and my poor mother had to put up with all kinds for all of our lives, from horses in the kitchen to two dogs giving birth at the same time and landing up with 14 puppies and dogs all in one go, as well as chickens, ducks, cows, sheep, goats etc etc ... It was quite a madhouse really. Animals generally get treated better than humans do in our house.

Anyway! So she arrives with this tiny, scrawny bag of bones wrapped up in her hat and scarf - oh, she had taken our nephews to a trout farm in Bibury - and STINKING of fish. The first thing he got was a bath, poor baby. Here's a pic of what he looked like that first day. He is snow white, but at the time was covered in this stinking yellow muck caked all over him, he had mucky eyes full of icky stuff, he was sneezing his head off, scratching his ears, bless his little heart, you have never seen anything so dejected - until he go a sniff at the food and then he couldn't eat fast enough!!!

Well, he ate and ate and ate and hasn't really stopped. He's been to the vet and has all sorts of antibiotics and drops for all his various ailments and has perked up amazingly. He is now looking like a proper kitten, not the bag of bones that you were too scared to pick up as you thought you were going to throw up because of the stink of rotten fish. He now rules the house - Precious, for the first time in her life, seems to have admitted defeat and ISN'T killing him!

Now, he is beautiful, he has almost doubled in size due to hi disgusting habit of eating everything he can. Once we left Precious's food down by mistake and he got to it with no one realising - well, by the time he came out of the kitchen he could hardly walk. He took a few steps, tummy virtually dragging on the ground, then stopped, and plopped down as if there was no possible way he could go on ... we laughed our heads off.

He has the run of the house, he plays, he chases Precious and steals her food, and has settled in quite well. My only gripe is that he doesn't like my feather duvet and won't sleep on my bed!!! Gutted man!!